The Day of the Hilulah of the Ari — and the Miraculous Journey to Meron

Today is the day of the hilulah [yahrzeit, anniversary of the passing — observed as a day of rejoicing and prayer at the gravesite] of our master the holy Ari [R' Yitzchak Luria, the great Kabbalist of Tzfas, of blessed memory]. I was at his graveside for several hours. The custom on this day is that the whole city goes to pray in his synagogue [the Ari's synagogue, situated at the edge of the old cemetery of Tzfas], and afterward everyone goes to his holy graveside — and so I did as well, and I prayed there on our behalf.

On the eve of Rosh Chodesh Av [the day before the new month of Av — which in that year fell approximately July 24, 1922], I went to Meron in the company of two men to pay there the Shloshim Zuz [ש"ז = שלושים זוז — "thirty zuz," the traditional Breslov practice of pledging or paying thirty coins / a sum of money at the grave of the Rashbi in Meron, as a form of spiritual dedication and vow]. And I had miracles — great among the great. The story was as follows:

As our master the Rebbe זצ"ל wrote in the story of the children who were exchanged — that the king's son fell because sufferings and exchanges and reversals passed over him — but afterward he settled his mind — [asking himself] whether this is how it is fitting for him to conduct himself — and he regretted that he had fallen. [The story of the children who were exchanged (Di Mayse fun di Kinder vos hobn zikh Fartusht) — the third tale in Sipurey Ma'asiyos (The Tales of Rabbi Nachman). A king's son and a servant's son are switched at birth. The true king's son passes through terrible sufferings, exchanges, and reversals of fortune — and at certain moments falls into despair. But each time he recovers his composure, asks himself whether despair is appropriate for a king's son, and regrets his falling. The author applies this to the recipient: like the king's son, he must not remain fallen — he must recover, reassess, and regret the fall.]

"And so too — on the contrary — when one sees that obstacles pass over him — one should not, G-d forbid, kick against the sufferings, G-d forbid. [מבעט ביסורין — "kicking against / spurning the sufferings." The word mevuat (מבעט) comes from the root בעט — to kick, to kick out at, to actively reject and spurn. Not merely passive resentment but the active gesture of kicking away, refusing, spurning — like a horse that kicks against the goad. The phrase "ein adam mitkabel yisurin" (a person does not accept sufferings) is a Talmudic principle — here the author says one must not be mevuat bisurin — actively kicking against the divine decree of suffering. The suffering must be accepted, not kicked away.] One must know that all is for good — and 'in my distress You have expanded [my space].' [ובצר הרחבת לי — "in my distress You have expanded [my space] / You enlarged me." Psalms 4:2: "In my straits You have broadened me." The paradox of divine compassion: precisely in the moment of constriction and suffering — Hashem expands the person. The distress itself contains the enlargement.] Blessed be Hashem — there are many [situations] much worse than mine. This is how one must think now: and thank Hashem for the fact that one finds oneself this way — and to yearn for something better — and to pray for the future — and to believe that everything is for good."

"That you have not yet merited to be this year in the Land of Israel — you must still yearn greatly — to make vessels capable of receiving the light of holiness. As the world says: the more a bone is cooked, the tastier it becomes. [וויא דיא וועלט זאגט אביין וואס מער עס קאכט זיך גישמאקער איז ער — "As the world says: a bone — the more it is cooked, the tastier it is." A folk saying: a bone stewed for a long time yields more richness and flavor than one cooked briefly. Applied spiritually: the longer one's longing is deferred and the more obstacles one encounters, the richer and deeper the eventual fulfillment will be. The delay creates the vessel — the kli — that can hold the light of holiness when it finally arrives.] What the person has more obstacles and it takes longer until he arrives at his longing — afterward when Hashem helps him — it is all the more pleasant and sweet. What comes with difficulty is pleasant and sweet."

"So you must strengthen yourselves — and revive yourselves with this: that you yearn for the Land of Israel — and pray to Hashem that this coming year you should merit to come to the Land of Israel — as the Rebbe brings in the first story: 'Your action shall be: yearning and desires and hope.' [דיין עובדא זאל זיין ביינקען און וועלין און האפין — Yiddish: "Your action / your work shall be: yearning and desiring and hoping." A citation from the first tale of Sipurey Ma'asiyos — the story of the Lost Princess. This is the instruction given to the king's minister who is searching for the lost princess: his entire task, while waiting and unable to find her, is simply this — to yearn, to desire, and to hope. The yearning IS the work. Applied here: while unable to travel to the Land of Israel, the recipient's entire spiritual task is yearning, desire, and hope.]

"And to fulfill the Torah of the intention of Elul: 'Call out to Joshua' [קרא את יהושע סי' ו' בלקוטי מוהר"ן — "Call out to Joshua, §6 in Likutay Moharan." Likutay Moharan §6, whose title is taken from Deuteronomy 3:28: "Call out to Joshua and strengthen him." This Torah teaching is associated specifically with the month of Elul — the letters of Elul (אלול) form the acronym for "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" (Ani l'dodi v'dodi li — Song of Songs 6:3) — and the teaching addresses the essential nature of teshuvah in this month.] — §6 in Likutay Moharan זצ"ל — where the Rebbe brings: the essence of teshuvah — when one hears one's humiliation, one should be still and silent. [כשישמע בזיונו ידום וישתוק — "when one hears one's humiliation / disgrace — one should be still and silent." The central teaching of Likutay Moharan §6: the essential act of teshuvah is not confession, not fasting, not weeping — but this: when something humiliating happens to a person — when they experience disgrace, failure, embarrassment, or the frustration of their plans — they should receive it in silence, in stillness, without complaint or protest. This silent acceptance is the highest form of teshuvah — it represents a complete submission to G-d's will and a letting-go of the ego's demand to be honored.]

"This is called 'his humiliation' — the pain and humiliation you have — that you have still not carried out your wish to be in the Land of Israel. Receive this with love — and for atonement of sin — and to diminish one's own honor — and to increase the honor of the Omnipresent. [ולמעט בכבוד עצמו ולהרבות בכבוד המקום — "to diminish one's own honor / self-honor — and to increase the honor of the Omnipresent." A deliberate inversion: what seems like a diminishment of the self (failing to achieve what one wants, accepting humiliation) is actually an increase in G-d's honor. When the person's personal will is frustrated and he accepts this in silence, he is in effect saying: G-d's will is greater than mine — and this is the increase of divine honor.]

"One can apply this also to a person who would want only good to happen to him — and for all his good desires to be fulfilled immediately — this is called 'one's own honor' — [self-honor]. ['עצמו' refers to 'one's soul' — not the body — as the Rebbe brings in Torah 22 [כ"ב = the Hebrew letters כ(20) + ב(2) = 22; the number of the Torah teaching in Likutay Moharan Part 1.] , 'Chotam b'soch chotam' (Seal within a seal): that the soul is called 'etzem' (essence/bone). כבוד עצמו — "one's own honor / self-honor." The word עצמו (atzmo) literally means "himself / his own" — but the Rebbe teaches that עצם (etzem) in its deeper sense means the soul — the innermost essence. So כבוד עצמו = the honor of one's own soul — the soul's natural desire to be fulfilled, to flourish, to achieve its goals. When things go well and one's holy desires are fulfilled, this is "the honor of one's soul." When they are not — this is "diminishing the honor of one's soul" — but it is simultaneously the increase of G-d's honor.]

"'Atzmo' means one's soul — not the body — as the Rebbe זצ"ל brings in Torah 22, 'Chotam b'soch chotam' — that the soul is called 'etzem.' But nevertheless — for the honor of the Omnipresent — one must diminish even the honor of one's own soul — in order to increase the honor of the Omnipresent. That is: when one can serve Hashem and carry out all one's desires in Jewish practice — and things go for one in order — this is called 'the honor of one's soul — one's own honor.'

"But when Hashem does not do this for the person — and things do not go for him — and he has obstacles — this is called 'diminishing one's own honor and one's soul.' But this is the honor of the Omnipresent — for Hashem wants it this way and conducts [the world] this way — so this is the honor of the Omnipresent this way.

"One must be at peace with this — and not fall. On the contrary — only to strengthen oneself in the longings and desires — and not to meditate after Hashem [ניט מהרהר זיין נאך השי"ת — "not to meditate / brood / question after Hashem." Not to entertain philosophical and emotional questioning of G-d's conduct — not to allow the mind to harbor grievances and doubts about why things are not going as they should. The phrase mirrors the earlier teaching on chametz — the overly questioning, ruminating mind. Here: after accepting humiliation in silence, one must also not harbor inner resentment or questioning.] — for the essential honor of the Omnipresent is to be drawn close to Hashem — both in the running and in the returning — both in His goodness and in His — G-d forbid — difficulty. [הן ברצוא והן בשוב הן בטיבו והן בעקו — "both in the running (ratzo) and in the returning (shov) — both in His goodness (b'tivo) and in His difficulty (b'iko)." Ratzo u'shov — "running and returning" — the fundamental oscillating movement described in Ezekiel 1:14 and developed throughout Kabbalistic thought: the soul runs toward G-d with great yearning (ratzo) and then returns to its place (shov). B'tivo u'b'iko — "in His goodness and in His difficulty" — whether G-d's conduct seems good and kind, or difficult and hard. Being drawn close to G-d in ALL states, not only when things go well, is the essential honor of the Omnipresent.]

"For otherwise — if the person is not at peace with being drawn close to Hashem (or to the Tzaddik — which is the same thing) — in whatever situation he finds himself — whether he will merit the greatest levels — or not — or even if, G-d forbid G-d forbid, he should be lying in the very depths of Sheol — even then he should not distance himself from Hashem and not fall from his longings and his service — if he is not at peace with this — then this is not called drawing close — and it is not called teshuvah. "As the Rebbe brings there: that one must be expert in the running [בקי ברצוא — "expert in the running." The technical term: baki (expert / fluent / practiced) in ratzo — the upward surge of the soul toward G-d. One must be equally expert in both directions of the spiritual oscillation: in the running (ratzo — the ascent) and in the returning (shov — the descent). Being baki means: not thrown off balance by either state, managing both with equal skill and equanimity.] — 'If I ascend to the heavens — there You are' [Psalms 139:8] — even if one merits the greatest level — one should know that this has not yet begun at all — and one should go higher — and not become arrogant — for in truth one is still very far — for 'if you are righteous — what do you give Him?' [Job 35:7] — and who can say that he serves Hashem — even the fiery angels and the wheel-angels and so on. "And conversely: if things are not going for the person in the service of Hashem as he desires — he should not fall — and should strengthen himself with what he can — and yearn toward Hashem — and fulfill: 'If I make my bed in Sheol — You are there' [Psalms 139:8] — Hashem is literally standing beside him and strengthening him — 'And I shall praise the one formed from clods of earth — fashioned from clay — and this is Your praise.' [ואבית תהלה מגושי עפר מקרוצי חומר והיא תהלתך — A liturgical phrase, likely from the Neilah (closing) prayer of Yom Kippur: the praise of the One who creates being from clods of earth and fashions it from clay. The lowly, earthen nature of the human being is itself the occasion for G-d's praise — for G-d takes this creaturely lowliness and lifts it. "And this is Your praise" — the very fact that You deal with such lowly creatures as us — is itself Your glory.] And if the person fulfills this — then the honor of Hashem is complete — and 'the right hand of Hashem is extended to receive his teshuvah.' [וימין ה' פשוטה לקבל תשובתו — "and the right hand of Hashem is extended to receive his teshuvah." A liturgical phrase from the Yom Kippur prayers: G-d's right hand is always stretched out, open and ready to receive the penitent who returns. The image: not a grudging acceptance but an eager, extended welcome — G-d reaching out His right hand to take hold of the returning sinner.] And this is called being drawn close — for in the end of all things he will come to his greatness — for he has the power of waiting [כח הַמְתָנָה — "the power of waiting." Notably the author writes this word with full vowel markings (nekudos) directly in the manuscript: הַמְתָנָה — the heh-patach, mem-shva, tav-kamatz, nun-kamatz. This deliberate vowelization in an otherwise unvocalized text signals that this specific concept — the koach hamamtanah — is of particular importance, and the author wanted to ensure it was read and pronounced with absolute precision.] to wait. "For: 'One who comes to purify himself — they assist him' — they say to him: 'Wait — tarry a little while and I will show you.' [Talmud Shabbos 104a — "One who comes to purify himself — they assist him from Above." The Talmudic phrase is echoed here with the addition of "Wait" — the divine response to one who seeks purification is not immediate fulfillment but "wait a little" — and the waiting itself is the assistance.] [See there [ע"ש = עיין שם — "see there / look there." The standard rabbinic citation instruction directing the reader to consult the original source for fuller context.] in the Torah 'Call out to Joshua,' mentioned above. [הנ"ל = הנזכר לעיל — "the aforementioned / mentioned above." The standard back-reference abbreviation: hanizkar l'eil — referring back to Likutay Moharan §6 cited earlier in the letter.] ] "For the waiting is a great goodness — through it one extracts the holy sparks — and makes great vessels — and earns very much through one's yearnings — more than one would have earned if things had gone smoothly — for by Hashem — a little through obstacles is more precious than a lot without obstacles. [בא השי"ת איז חשובער אביסלע דורך מניעות איידער אסאך אן מניעות — "by Hashem — a little through obstacles is more precious than a lot without obstacles." One of the most powerful teachings in the letter: from G-d's perspective, a small spiritual achievement attained through overcoming obstacles is more precious and more valuable than a large achievement that came easily. The effort, the struggle, the longing through the obstacles — this is what creates the great spiritual vessels (keilim) and extracts the deepest holy sparks.] "May Hashem help you that you should come to your matter and your purpose in completeness — from within expansion. So may it be His will. Amen." [מתוך הרחבה — "from within expansion / from a place of expansiveness." Hirchavah — expansiveness, spaciousness, abundance — the opposite of constriction (tzar). The blessing: may the fulfillment come not through further suffering and constriction but from a place of ease, abundance, and spiritual spaciousness.] "And regarding the wife — one must give way and not fulfill the commandment of the evil inclination — which clothes itself in a commandment, G-d forbid — to make a division of hearts. [פירוד לבבות — "a division of hearts / a split of hearts." The evil inclination clothes itself in a religious justification — "it is a mitzvah that your wife should agree to go to the Land of Israel" — but the actual result of pressing her and fighting with her would be a division and fracturing of the marriage bond. The author warns: do not let the evil inclination use even holy desires as a weapon to damage the marriage. Give way — be willing to yield — rather than create pirrud levavot.] Only — you must honor her and judge her on the scale of merit — and pray to Hashem that she should listen to you and obey with good will." Mazal tov on your Nachman — may he be healthy — and may he be as is fitting for the name — and may you have great joy together with your wife and all the children. Amen. [מזל טוב פאר אייער נחמן — "Mazal tov on your Nachman." The recipient's son has been born and named Nachman — the name of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. The author blesses him: "may he be as is fitting for the name" — may he live up to the greatness of the name Nachman, as is fitting for one who bears the name of the Rebbe.] As Rosh Hashana approaches — the essential is joy and hope and thinking that it will be good. A good and sweet new year. [And similarly — on the contrary: when one sees that obstacles pass over him — one need not, G-d forbid, kick against the sufferings [אינו צריך להיות מבעט ביסורין — "need not kick against / spurn the sufferings." Mevuat (מבעט) — from the root בעט — to kick, to actively reject and spurn. The Hebrew תרגום uses the same word as the Yiddish mevuat bisurin, preserving the active kicking-against gesture of the original.] , G-d forbid. One must know that all is for good — and "in my distress You have expanded me." Blessed be Hashem — there are many things much worse than mine. This is how one must think now: to thank Hashem for the fact that I find myself this way — and to yearn for something better — and to pray for the future — and to believe that everything is for good. That you have not yet merited to be this year in the Land of Israel — you must yearn greatly still — to make vessels capable of receiving the light of holiness. As the world says: a bone — the more it is cooked, the tastier it becomes. What the person has more obstacles, and it takes longer until he arrives at his longing — afterward when Hashem helps him — it is all the more pleasant and sweet. What comes with difficulty is pleasant and sweet. So you must strengthen yourselves — and revive yourselves — with this: that you long for the Land of Israel — and pray to Hashem that in the coming year you should merit to come to the Land of Israel. As our master the Rebbe brings in the first story: "Your action shall be: yearning and desires and hope." And fulfill the Torah of the intention of Elul: "Call out to Joshua" — §6 in Likutay Moharan זצ"ל — where our master the Rebbe brings: the essence of teshuvah — when one hears one's humiliation — one should be still and silent. This is called "his humiliation" — the pain and humiliation you have — that you have still not carried out your desire to be in the Land of Israel — receive this with love — and for atonement of sin — and to diminish one's own honor — and to increase the honor of the Omnipresent. One can say this also about a person who would want only good to happen to him — and for all his good desires to be fulfilled immediately — this is called "one's own honor."] [("Atzmo" is called the soul — not the body — as our master the Rebbe זצ"ל brings in Torah 22 "Chotam b'soch chotam" — that the soul is called "etzem." But nonetheless — for the honor of the Omnipresent — one must diminish even the honor of one's own soul — in order to increase the honor of the Omnipresent. That is: when one can serve Hashem and carry out all one's desires in Jewish practice — and things go for one properly — this is called the honor of one's soul — "one's own honor." But if Hashem does not do this for the person — and things do not go for him — and he has obstacles — this is called "diminishing one's own honor and soul." But this is the honor of the Omnipresent — for Hashem wills it this way and conducts the world this way — so this is the honor of the Omnipresent. And one must be at peace with this — and not fall. On the contrary — only strengthen oneself in the longings and desires — and not harbor thoughts against Hashem — for the essential honor of the Omnipresent is to be drawn close to Hashem — both in the running and in the returning — both in His goodness and in His — G-d forbid — difficulty.)] [For otherwise — if the person is not at peace with being drawn close to Hashem (and so too to the Tzaddik — which is the same thing) — in every situation — whether he merits the greatest levels or not — or even if, G-d forbid G-d forbid, he should be lying in the very depths of Sheol — that even then he should not distance himself from Hashem — and not fall from his longings and service — if he is not at peace with this — this is not called drawing close — and this is not called teshuvah. As our master the Rebbe brings there: that one must be expert in the running — expert in the returning. "If I ascend to the heavens — there You are" — even if one merits the highest level — one should know that this has not yet begun at all — and one must go higher — and not become arrogant — for in truth one is still very far — for "if you are righteous — what do you give Him?" — and who can say that he serves Hashem — even the fiery angels and the wheel-angels and so on. And conversely: when things do not go for the person in the service of Hashem as he desires — he should not fall — and strengthen himself with what he can — and yearn toward Hashem — and fulfill "If I make my bed in Sheol — You are there" — Hashem stands literally beside him and strengthens him — "And I shall praise the one formed from clods of earth — fashioned from clay — and this is Your praise." And if the person fulfills this — the honor of Hashem is complete — and "the right hand of Hashem is extended to receive his teshuvah." And this is called drawing close — for in the end of all things he will come to his greatness — for he has the power of waiting to wait.] [For: "One who comes to purify himself — they assist him" — they say to him: "Wait — tarry a little while and I will show you." [See there in the Torah "Call out to Joshua."] For the waiting is a great goodness — through it one extracts the holy sparks — and makes great vessels — and earns very much through one's yearnings — more than one would earn if things went smoothly — for by Hashem — a little through obstacles is more precious than a lot without obstacles. May Hashem help you that you should come to your matter and your purpose in completeness — from within expansion. So may it be His will. Amen.] [And regarding the wife — one must give way — and not fulfill the commandment of the evil inclination that clothes itself in a commandment to make a division of hearts. Only — you must honor her and judge her on the scale of merit — and pray to Hashem that she should listen to you and obey with good will. Mazal tov to your Nachman — may he be healthy — and may he be as is fitting for the name — and may you have great joy together with your wife and all the children. Amen.] [As Rosh Hashana approaches — the essential is joy and hope — and to think that it will be good. A good and sweet new year.] This nineteenth letter — written Wednesday 8 Elul 5716 (September 1956) — is addressed to a single recipient, a young scholar (avrech) who has written in pain that he was unable to travel to the Land of Israel this year and has consequently fallen into laziness and sadness in divine service. The letter — again in Yiddish with Hebrew תרגום — builds a complete spiritual response from three interlocking teachings. The Story of the Exchanged Children (§4): The king's son in Sipurey Ma'asiyos falls into despair when sufferings and reversals (yeridas hannefesh) overcome him — but he recovers, reassesses, and regrets his falling. The recipient must do the same. On obstacles and yearning (§§5, 9): The folk saying — "the more a bone is cooked, the tastier it becomes" — applied spiritually: the longer the longing is deferred, the richer the fulfillment. The yearning IS the work — citing the first tale of Sipurey Ma'asiyos (the Lost Princess): "Your action shall be: yearning and desires and hope." A little through obstacles is more precious to G-d than a lot without obstacles. Likutay Moharan §6 — the Kavanah of Elul (§§6–9): The central teaching. The essence of teshuvah: when one hears one's humiliation — be still and silent (yidom v'yishtok). The inability to go to the Land of Israel IS the "bizayon" (humiliation) — received with love, for the atonement of sin. Torah 22 (Chotam b'soch chotam): the soul is called "etzem" — "one's own honor" (kevod atzmo) = the soul's natural desire to flourish; when blocked, this is "diminishing one's own honor" — but it is simultaneously the increase of G-d's honor (kevod HaMakom). The central paradox: accepting the blockage IS the increase of divine honor. Ratzo u'shov — "running and returning" — being expert in both: (1) At the heights: "If I ascend to the heavens — there You are" — even the greatest achievement has not yet begun; go higher, don't become arrogant. (2) In the depths: "If I make my bed in Sheol — You are there" — G-d stands beside even the lowest state and strengthens. "The right hand of Hashem is extended to receive his teshuvah." The koach hamamtanah — the power of waiting — extracts holy sparks and creates great keilim. Personal (§§10–11): On the wife: do not fulfill the evil inclination's mitzvah — which causes pirrud levavot (division of hearts). Honor her, judge her favorably, and pray. Mazal tov on the birth of a son named Nachman — may he live up to the great name. Rosh Hashana: the essential is joy, hope, and the thought that it will be good. Key terms in this letter: Ha'avrech — the young scholar; a young married man engaged in Torah study · Di mayse fun di kinder vos hobn zikh fartusht — the story of the exchanged children; Sipurey Ma'asiyos, third tale · B'tzar hirchavta li — "in my distress You expanded me" (Psalms 4:2); the divine paradox of suffering · A beyn vos mer es kokht zikh geshmaker iz er — "a bone the more it cooks the tastier it is"; the folk saying for spiritual maturation through waiting · Dayn uvda zol zayn baynken un veln un hofn — "your action shall be: yearning and desires and hope"; the Lost Princess story · Kra es Yehoshua — LM §6 — kavanah of Elul — "Call out to Joshua"; the Elul Torah teaching on teshuvah · Kishmo yidom v'yishtok — "when he hears his humiliation — he should be still and silent"; the essence of teshuvah · Lema'et bikhvod atzmo u'lharbos bikhvod HaMakom — to diminish one's self-honor and increase G-d's honor · Kevod atzmo / kevod HaMakom — the honor of one's soul vs. the honor of the Omnipresent; the central paradox · Etzem = the soul — from Torah 22 "Chotam b'soch chotam"; the soul called by the word for bone/essence · Ratzo u'shov / baki b'ratzo baki b'shov — running and returning; expert in both spiritual movements · Im esak shamayim sham atah / ve'atzi'ah she'ol hinecha — Psalms 139:8; G-d is present at both heights and depths · Va'avit tehillah megushah afar — the liturgical phrase of G-d's praise for lifting the lowly creature · Yamin Hashem pesutha lekabel teshuvato — G-d's right hand extended to receive teshuvah · Koach hamamtanah — the power of waiting; the key virtue that extracts sparks and creates keilim · Abisel mit meni'os iz choshuver aider a sach ohn meni'os — a little through obstacles is more precious than a lot without them · Mitoch harhavah — from within expansion/abundance; the hoped-for mode of fulfillment · Pirrud levavot — division of hearts; what the evil inclination uses a mitzvah-guise to create · Mazal tov — Nachman — the birth of a son named after the Rebbe