His Spiritual Situation — Mental Obstruction, Strife in the Yeshivah, and the Longing for Jerusalem

I do not know how to give thanks to your honor — if only for the letter and the Torah words [דברי תורה] within it alone. And especially — especially — for all that he has done for me until now. And I shall reply to him with a reply about my situation. Behold — in truth I have many obstacles, and especially the mental obstruction [mniyas hamoyach] which surpasses them all. But with G‑d's help — [Yiddish:] "Somehow I manage to snatch some prayer, etc., etc." [Hebrew:] (As much as I can — I snatch some prayer, etc., etc.) Every day I recite the ten chapters [עשרה קפיטלעך — Yiddish for "ten chapters" of Psalms; the Breslov custom is to recite the "Tikkun HaKlali," the ten specific Psalms designated by Rabbainu as a general remedy and rectification for the soul: 16, 32, 41, 42, 59, 77, 90, 105, 137, 150] and the prayer that follows them, and additional prayers in their order. And I go every day to the mikveh [ritual immersion], and I study a little Torah, and I have a little hisbodidus each day. But the obstacles overpower greatly. "Who will give me wings like a dove — I will fly away and find rest, I will wander far off and dwell in the wilderness" [Psalms 55:7–8 — a verse of longing for escape from oppression, used here with great personal resonance] — solely in order to serve G‑d, blessed be He, in truth.

What shall I say, what shall I speak, how shall I justify myself? [Yiddish:] "The material world makes a ruin of me — very, very much. I have almost no one with whom to say even a word, and especially to study. Now it is even worse than before — strife in the yeshivah [מחלוקת בישיבה — conflict within the yeshivah institution; the specific nature of this dispute is not explained, but it is clearly severe enough to make learning impossible]; one cannot study because of the strife. And it is very bitter for me. It is a great compassion upon me — what am I doing with these precious years of mine? Alas — what does one do? How does one save oneself from the evil inclination [yetzer hora]? Alas — it is bitter! Have compassion on me and pray for me every day, and also send to Uman that they should pray for me." [Hebrew parenthetical immediately following:] (The material world makes a ruin of me — very, very much. I have almost no one with whom to say even a word of Torah, and especially to study. Now it is even worse than before — strife in the yeshivah; one cannot study because of the strife. And it is very bitter for me. It is a great compassion upon me — what am I doing with these precious years of mine? Alas — what does one do? How does one save oneself from the evil inclination? Alas — it is bitter! Have compassion on me and pray for me every day, and also send to Uman that they should pray for me.)

"In which there is contained the entire matter of the battle of the Jewish man with his evil inclination, and the awesome power of strengthening — the like of which there is none. How each and every person in the lowly world of the low — the most worthless of the worthless, he than whom there is none more lowly and worthless [The Rebbe's teaching is addressed specifically to the person who feels himself to be at the absolute bottom — the most degraded, most failed, most beyond-hope human being alive. This is deliberately the intended audience above all others.] — can revive and gladden his soul."

"And can know and recognize — how, after everything he has done and after everything that has been done to him — even now he is very close to Hashem. And how even he can merit, in every hour and moment, with every single inclination and movement by which he inclines himself toward Hashem [The phrase בכל נטיה ונטיה שנוטה — "with every single inclination and movement by which he inclines" — is a deliberate repetition (נטיה / נוטה from the same root) emphasizing that the tiniest inner movement of turning toward G-d — even an impulse, a flicker of desire — has immeasurable value. The repetition is preserved in the translation.] — and every single good point — how Hashem has pleasure and satisfaction even from him, and loves him greatly, and looks and waits for him to return to Him of his own free choice in this world specifically." [בבחירתו בזה העולם דייקא — "of his own free choice in this world specifically." Free will exists only in this world. Therefore G-d waits with infinite patience for a person's voluntary return here, because only here is it genuinely chosen — and thus of infinite value to Him. After death, in the World to Come, no free choice is possible and therefore no merit can be earned.]

"For after death, in the World to Come, compassion avails absolutely nothing at all. And the only real compassion — the only true mercy — is precisely this: [ורק הרחמנות הוא. כאשר האדם שובר יצרו הרע — a sharp, paradoxical sentence: "And the [only real] compassion is precisely this — when the person breaks his evil inclination." The author is saying: do not look to G-d's compassion to save you after death. The only real divine mercy is what happens right now, in this world, when a person struggles and overcomes. That struggle itself IS G-d's compassion — expressed as the human being's own capacity to fight and win.] when a person breaks his evil inclination with whatever he can. And every single movement by which he moves himself from his physicality toward the service of Hashem — whether in Torah, what he can; and whether in prayer; and whether in commandments and good deeds; and in the subduing of his anger [ובכבישת כעסו — "in the subduing of his anger" specifically. Not merely the evil inclination in general — the text singles out anger as a distinct and particular battle. Anger is one of the most destructive of human traits in Jewish ethical thought, and subduing it is considered a feat of enormous spiritual significance.] ; and so on and so on — this is true and eternal profit." [Revach amiti v'nitzchi — רווח אמיתי וניצחי — true and eternal profit. A mercantile image: every act of self-overcoming is a permanent, indestructible spiritual earning stored up forever. See Letter 2, §7 on rayach.]

"For all the worlds together are not worth even one measure of satisfaction that a person gives to Hashem through any commandment or any good point that is in him — and especially in a matter of a commandment that involves the subduing of the [evil] inclination." [Kevishas hayetzer — כבישת היצר — the conquering of the evil inclination. When a person does good despite internal resistance — when they overcome the pull to give up, to sin, or to despair — this is of incomparable worth to G-d.]

"The principle is: the power of strengthening that will be in this Torah when it is printed — there is absolutely no parallel to it. And it can revive and fortify the entire world from end to end — to the point that there is no illness in the world, and no disease, for which there will not be a true, wholesome, and complete healing — for whoever only wishes to receive the healing in wholeness and simplicity, and to carry it out as the true, merciful, truthful Healer of souls [הרופא נפשות האמיתי הרחמן האמת — "the true, merciful, truthful Healer of souls." Three distinct qualities: true (האמיתי — genuinely what he claims to be), merciful (הרחמן — driven by compassion, not judgment), and of-truth (האמת — his prescriptions are grounded in absolute truth). The Rebbe is described through all three.] commands him."

"And therefore it is surely a merit for the multitudes [Zechus harabbim — זכות הרבים — an act that benefits the many. In Jewish thought this carries immeasurably greater spiritual weight than an act benefiting only an individual. Printing this book is understood as such an act — potentially healing countless souls across all generations.] the like of which there is none. For this is the very essence of the matter — to revive broken, afflicted, sick, despairing souls, and those who are ill in soul — upon whom the evil inclination has shot all his bitter and most bitter arrows, anointed with all kinds of deadly poison: which are his evil thoughts and wicked imaginings, and transgressions and sins, and deliberate rebellions and acts of defiance, G-d forbid." [A progression is described: evil thoughts → wicked imaginings → transgressions → sins → deliberate rebellions → outright defiance. This is the trajectory of the yetzer hora's poisoned arrows going deeper and deeper into the soul. The book's healing is addressed to people at every stage of this list — including the last.]

"To revive them with all kinds of soul-restoring delicacies [Mataamin hameshivim es hanefesh — מטעמים המשיבים את הנפש — "delicacies / exquisite dishes that restore the soul." A beautiful image: the book's teachings are like specially prepared spiritual food — nourishing, satisfying, reviving — for the soul that has grown sick and weak from despair.] — so that they should not despair, G-d forbid — and that they should know that there is absolutely no despair in the world at all. [אין שום יאוש בעולם כלל — "there is absolutely no despair in the world at all." One of the most famous and central teachings of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov — possibly his single most important declaration. No matter how far a person has fallen, no matter what they have done, there is always a way back. Despair itself is the one thing that is truly forbidden.] And as long as the breath of life is in their nostrils — they still have very great hope to strengthen themselves and draw close — and to be beloved and cherished to Hashem — with every single movement and movement by which they move themselves toward Hashem."

"And these are the good counsels and healings that the Healer of souls shows us — in his precious, easy, and very sweet remedies. [Refu'os yekarim v'kalim u'mesukim me'od — precious, easy, and very sweet remedies. Precious — of infinite value; easy — accessible to anyone, requiring no great scholarship or asceticism; sweet — not bitter medicine but a delight. This is the hallmark of Breslov teaching.] For the entire trouble — from all the troubles in the world — is that sadness and despair crush them in body and soul." "But there is no healing in the world for this — and for all the powers of the evil inclination, with all its enticements and temptations — only Torah. And in particular the Torah of our master the Rebbe זצ"ל. And in particular through deep study together with the introductions, and proofs, and reasoning of the disciples of our master the Rebbe זצ"ל — and in particular our teacher R' Nossan זצ"ל in his Likutay Halachos and his other holy books — which will be included in this book that is being printed." "In any case, it contains enough to revive the entire world from the day it was created until the end of the world — and to heal everyone." "How I also hope that Hashem will help you — that you should have divine abundance and expansiveness [Shefa v'harchavah — שפע והרחבה — "divine abundance and expansiveness." Shefa is the flowing of heavenly blessing in all forms; harchavah is the opening up and widening — the feeling of spaciousness and relief after constriction. Together they describe a full reversal of both financial and spiritual tightness.] in material matters as well — and in particular that you should be able to pay off your debts as soon as possible. For being a debtor is very, very harmful to Jewishness [Yiddishkayt — יודשקייט — Jewishness; the full texture of living as a Jew in all its practical and spiritual dimensions. Debt harms not merely one's finances but one's very capacity to live fully as a Jew.] [specifically in the service of G-d]." [The author's own Hebrew translation (§28) adds a clarifying bracket here: [בעבודת ה'] — "[in the service of G-d]" — specifying that debt's harm to Jewishness is felt most acutely in the realm of divine service: it weighs on the soul, creates anxiety and distraction, and obstructs the clarity of heart needed for genuine prayer and teshuvah.] "As the holy Rebbe brings in Sefer HaMidos: [Sefer HaMidos — ספר המידות — "The Book of Character Traits," also known as the Aleph-Beis Book — a collection of short, pithy teachings by Rabbi Nachman organized alphabetically by topic, one of his most widely read works] 'Whoever wishes to repent should be careful not to be a debtor.' [This teaching reveals the deep spiritual connection between financial integrity and teshuvah (repentance and return to G-d). Debt creates an ongoing obligation and anxiety that can block the clarity and freedom of heart needed for genuine teshuvah.] Certainly you have done very well in borrowing the money for the printing and for the other commandments you performed previously — fortunate are you and fortunate is your portion. [Ashreickem v'ashrei chelkechem — אשריכם ואשרי חלקכם — "fortunate are you and fortunate is your portion" — a classical expression of blessing and admiration, implying that through their deed they have acquired a genuine and lasting spiritual fortune] In the merit of this, Hashem will help you to pay off all your debts." "'And whoever fulfills the Torah in poverty will in the end fulfill it in wealth.' [כל המקיים התורה מעוני סופו לקיימה מעושר — Mishnah, Avos 4:9: "Whoever fulfills the Torah under conditions of poverty will ultimately fulfill it under conditions of wealth." Their sacrifice now in the service of Torah will be rewarded with the material means to do even more later.] So may it be His will. Amen." "In any case, I ask of you that — aside from the necessary things that you are accustomed to doing and which you cannot discontinue — you should stop taking on [new] debts, and should strengthen yourselves to pay off the existing debts little by little." "You can only long and want and hope to continue forward — to carry forward the Rebbe's matter of what we still need to print, and so on. But only through the efforts of other people — whom Hashem will send to you on account of [וועגין — vegn — "on account of / by virtue of / because of." This word was previously omitted. It is precise and important: Hashem will send helpers not randomly, but specifically on account of and in the merit of the recipient's great longings. The longing itself is the cause that draws the help.] your great longings. But your own money — that you should see to pay off a little of your debts first." "Now let us write about the topic of the day. [Me'inyana d'yoma — מענינא דיומא — "from the topic of the day" — a traditional phrase introducing content relevant to the current season or calendar moment] Lag B'Omer [Lag B'Omer — ל"ג בעומר — the 33rd day of the Omer count between Passover and Shavuos. It is the hillula — the sacred yahrzeit and day of celebration — of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, the great Talmudic sage and Kabbalist who revealed the Zohar. Massive gatherings take place at his tomb in Miron every year. The author is writing from Miron itself, feeling the holiness intensely.] is approaching. Here in holy Miron one feels powerfully the holy festival of the true Tzaddik, the divine Tanna, [Tanna — תנא — one of the sages of the Mishnaic era (1st–3rd centuries CE). Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai is among the greatest of them.] the godly Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, may his merit protect us." [זיע"א = זכותו יגן עלינו אמן — "may his merit protect us, Amen" — the traditional formula after the name of a departed holy sage] "Who can discharge and exempt the entire world from judgment with his power — for he has already borne and worked through suffering on behalf of the entire world. [אפגליטען — opglitn — a vivid Yiddish word meaning to have suffered through something to its completion, to have discharged a burden of pain — like a fire that has burned through its fuel, or a debt that has been paid off in full through the currency of suffering. It carries more than "suffered" — it conveys that the suffering was purposeful and complete, that Rabbi Shimon has already paid the full price on the world's behalf.] And this is our entire vitality and hope — only the power and the merit of the holy Tzaddikim." "The Rebbe זצ"ל who said: 'When I go before you [The Rebbe's famous declaration — that even after his passing he would continue to intercede for his Chassidim in the spiritual worlds. This promise is the foundation of the Breslov Rosh Hashana pilgrimage to Uman, where the Rebbe is buried.] — what do you have to fear?' And still more such promises without number — that if one only holds fast to him and his books and his people and his ways — one will ultimately, in the end, have a good conclusion for all eternity." "And I hope to Hashem — after this book that we are printing — that we will be able to print a book on the greatness of the Tzaddik, and in particular on the greatness of the Tzaddik Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai זצ"ל, and in particular on the greatness of the Rebbe — and how one should draw close to him: all the counsels, and so on." "Now in the holy days of the Omer [Sefiras HaOmer — the 49-day count between Passover and Shavuos; a period of spiritual preparation and self-refinement in anticipation of receiving the Torah anew on Shavuos] one must yearn greatly to Hashem and prepare oneself for receiving the Torah. And to recite Psalms every single day — which is a very propitious practice [Mesugal — מסוגל — spiritually suited / especially effective for a particular goal. Reciting Psalms is described here as specifically propitious for teshuvah.] for doing teshuvah." "And to receive the holy and awesome Festival of Shavuos — one day above all days [Yom echad l'ma'alah min hayamim — a day that stands one level above the entire calendar — transcending the normal cycle of holiness, as the day of the giving of the Torah itself] — on which one merits on that day the holiness of Kesser [Kesser — כתר — "Crown" — the highest of the ten Sefiros (divine emanations) in Kabbalah. To receive the holiness of Kesser on Shavuos means that the highest available spiritual illumination descends and is accessible to the person who has prepared himself through the Omer.] — through what one has worked upon and exerted oneself with during the days of the Omer." [מען הארביט זיך אוס — "what one has worked upon and exerted oneself with" — the Yiddish harbitn zikh oys carries the sense of working hard, laboring, exerting oneself fully — not a passive process but an active, effortful one. The Kesser is earned through real spiritual work.] "So that one should not need to eat the bread of shame [Nahama d'kissufa — נהמא דכסופא — Aramaic: "bread of shame / bread of embarrassment." A Kabbalistic concept: a soul that receives divine blessing without having earned it through its own effort experiences the discomfort of pure dependency — receiving a gift one did not work for. The Omer's self-work is meant to ensure that Shavuos is earned, not merely received.] as on Passover — which is entirely an awakening from Above. [Is'arusa d'le'eila — אתערותא דלעילא — "awakening from Above." On Passover, the redemption was entirely G-d's initiative — the Jews were at the 49th level of impurity and could not save themselves. G-d reached down. Beautiful and miraculous — but also "bread of shame," unearned.] But today we already have an awakening from below [Is'arusa d'ltata — אתערותא דלתתא — "awakening from below." The person initiates through their own effort and yearning during the Omer — and this draws down G-d's response. This is the deeper, more earned form of spiritual relationship.] from the days of the Omer." "The mikveh [Mikveh — מקוה — the ritual pool of immersion used for spiritual purification. Used here as a metaphor: Shavuos night is the immersion point that purifies and elevates all the spiritual work of the Omer.] of Shavuos is the 50th Gate of Holiness. [Sha'ar HaChamisim d'Kedushah — שער החמשים דקדושה — "the 50th Gate of Holiness." In Kabbalah there are 49 levels of impurity and 49 levels of holiness. The 50th Gate stands above all of them — the level of pure divine revelation, accessible only on Shavuos, the night of the giving of the Torah.] What one experiences and takes in [מה שערים בו — "what one experiences and takes in / what one grasps and absorbs." The Yiddish האף זיין and the Hebrew equivalent שערים בו carry both the sense of experiencing and the sense of measuring or grasping — what one manages to absorb and internalize on that night.] on Shavuos night — that is life itself [דאס לייבאן — dos laybn — "that is life itself / the very substance of living." Not merely "the substance of life" in an abstract sense — but life itself, the very core and beating heart of existence. What happens on Shavuos night IS life — everything else flows from it.] — and all the passages and transitions [פירעכץ — firakhts — "passages / crossings / transitions" — the key thresholds and turning points of the year, both material and spiritual. What is absorbed on Shavuos night sets the template for how all those transitions will unfold throughout the coming year.] of the entire year — both materially and spiritually." "And one must be joyful at the wedding [Chassunah — חתונה — wedding. The giving of the Torah on Shavuos is described in Kabbalistic tradition as a wedding — a marriage covenant between G-d and Israel, with the Torah as the marriage contract (ketubah). One must come to Shavuos with the joy of a wedding guest, not merely as a solemn observer.] of the giving of the Torah. And to take oneself to study the Torah teachings of our master the Rebbe — which are a wondrous novelty from the future revelation, [Chiddush nifla min ha'asid — a novelty whose source is from what will be revealed in the Messianic future. The Rebbe's Torah is described as drawing from a level of divine wisdom that properly belongs to the future era, but which has been given to us early.] from Atika Stima'ah [Atika Stima'ah — עתיקא סתימאה — Aramaic: "the Ancient Hidden One" — in Kabbalah, the most transcendent and concealed level of the divine — that which was hidden even before creation. The Rebbe's Torah teachings are described as drawing from this supreme source.] — which will be revealed in the future era. So may it be His will. Amen." "Your friend sends you greetings and wishes you — that you should merit what one can merit in this passing world: 'No eye has seen…'" [Isaiah 64:3 — "No eye has seen, O G-d, besides You, what He will do for those who wait for Him" — evoking the indescribable, unimaginable rewards awaiting those who serve G-d faithfully in this world] I hope that Hashem will help you — that you should have divine abundance and expansiveness also in material matters — and in particular that you should be able to pay off your debts as soon as possible. For being a debtor is very, very harmful to Jewishness [in the service of G-d] [[בעבודת ה'] — the author adds this bracket in his own Hebrew translation to specify precisely where debt's harm is felt: not merely in one's finances or reputation, but in the very practice of serving G-d — prayer, teshuvah, spiritual clarity. This bracket is part of the original text.] — as our holy master brings in Sefer HaMidos: "Whoever wishes to repent should be careful not to be a debtor." Certainly you have done very well in borrowing the money for the printing and for the other commandments you performed previously — fortunate are you and fortunate is your portion. In this merit, Hashem will help you to pay off all your debts. "And whoever fulfills the Torah in poverty will in the end fulfill it in wealth." So may it be His will. Amen. In any case, I ask of you that — aside from necessary matters that you are accustomed to doing and which cannot be discontinued — you should stop taking on [new] debts, and strengthen yourselves to pay off the debts little by little. You can only long and want and hope to continue forward — to bring to realization the Rebbe's matter, what we still need to print, and so on. But only through the efforts of other people, whom Hashem will send to you on account of your great longings. But from your own money — see to pay off a little of your debts first. Now I will write about the topic of the day: Lag B'Omer is approaching. Here in the holy city of Miron one feels very powerfully the holy festival of the true Tzaddik, the divine Tanna, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, may his merit protect us — who can exempt the entire world from judgment with his power, for he has already borne through and discharged suffering on behalf of the entire world. And this is our entire vitality and hope — only this power of the merit of the holy Tzaddikim. Our master the Rebbe זצ"ל who said: "When I go before you — what do you have to fear?" And still more such promises without number — that if one only holds fast to him and his books and his people and his ways — one will ultimately have a good conclusion for all eternity. I hope to Hashem that after this book that we are printing, we will be able to print a book on the greatness of the Tzaddik — and in particular the greatness of the Tzaddik Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai זצ"ל — and in particular the greatness of our master the Rebbe — and how to draw close to him: all the counsels, and so on. Now in the holy days of the Omer one must yearn greatly to Hashem and prepare oneself for receiving the Torah — and to recite Psalms every single day, which is a very propitious practice for doing teshuvah — and to receive the holy and awesome Festival of Shavuos — one day above all days — on which one merits the holiness of Kesser through what one has worked upon and exerted oneself with during the days of the Omer. So that one should not need to eat the bread of shame as on Passover — which is entirely an awakening from Above — but today we already have an awakening from below from the days of the Omer. The mikveh of Shavuos is the 50th Gate of Holiness — what one experiences and takes in on Shavuos night — that is life itself — and it causes and reflects all the passages and transitions of the entire year, in material matters and spiritual matters. And one must be joyful at the wedding of the giving of the Torah — and take oneself to study the Torah teachings of our master the Rebbe — which are a wondrous novelty from the future revelation, from Atika Stima'ah, which will be revealed in the future era. So may it be His will. Amen. Your friend who inquires after your wellbeing and blesses you — that you should merit what one can merit in this passing world: "No eye has seen…" [Isaiah 64:3] This third letter, written on 15 Iyar 5714 (spring 1954) from Miron — just before Lag B'Omer — is the richest letter yet, weaving together five distinct themes into a single spiritual vision. The book (§§2–12): The heart of the letter is a blazing, extended description of the first Torah teaching of Rabbi Nachman that the book will contain. Two master declarations ring through every line: Finances and debts (§§13–17, 28–29): Practical and grounded. Stop taking on new debts. Pay existing ones gradually. The spiritual dimension is clear: debt harms the service of G-d specifically. Grounded in a direct quote from Sefer HaMidos. Key terms in this letter: Zechus harabbim — merit of benefiting the multitudes · Ain shum ye'ush ba'olam klal — "There is absolutely no despair in the world at all" · Revach amiti v'nitzchi — true and eternal spiritual profit · Kevishas ka'aso — subduing one's anger specifically · Kevishas hayetzer — subduing the evil inclination · Opglitn — to have borne suffering through to its completion, discharging a debt · Nahama d'kissufa — the bread of shame; unearned spiritual reward · Is'arusa d'le'eila / d'ltata — awakening from Above / awakening from below · Sha'ar HaChamisim — the 50th Gate of Holiness · Dos laybn — life itself; the essence of living · Kesser — the Crown; the highest Kabbalistic emanation, accessible on Shavuos · Atika Stima'ah — the Ancient Hidden One; the transcendent source of the Rebbe's Torah · Chassunah shel Matan Torah — the wedding of the giving of the Torah (= Shavuos)