T48 (Tinyana) PNC - Hisrachkus Is Entirely Hiskarvus; Persistence; 'Hundred Years' Tree; Azamre

Beginner: When a person enters the service of Hashem, the way is that they show him distance: it seems Heaven is pushing him away, refusing to let him enter avodas Hashem. But in truth, all this distance is entirely closeness. Tremendous strengthening is needed not to fall in one's mind when one sees that years pass with great toil and one is still far, still full of coarseness, physicality, and distracting thoughts, and whatever one tries to do for Hashem he is blocked from. It begins to feel as though Hashem doesn't notice him at all, since he keeps crying out and prostrating and is still very far. Yet against all this — strengthen yourself greatly, do not look at any of this. All the distance is really closeness. All the true tzaddikim passed through this exact place; they said explicitly that it seemed to them that Hashem did not look at them at all because they prayed and toiled long and were still very far. Had they not strengthened themselves to ignore this feeling, they would have remained in their first place and never reached what they reached. The principle, beloved brother: be very strong; cling with all your strength to remain in your service; do not worry, do not look at anything written above. Even if you are very far and feel you sin against Him every hour — know that for someone so coarse, every single tiny movement of detaching even slightly from physicality and turning to Hashem is enormous and precious. Even one small point of separation from physicality runs you thousands of parsa'os in the upper worlds (the story of the tzaddik who was overcome by atzvus in Sippurei Ma'asios). Therefore rejoice greatly and constantly strengthen yourself in simchah — atzvus is extremely damaging. The moment a person wants to enter avodas Hashem, atzvus is itself a great sin: 'atzvus is sitra achara' (Zohar Noach 71) — Hashem hates it. Be extremely stubborn in avodas Hashem — do not abandon your place, the little of your service you have begun, no matter what passes over you. Remember this well; you will need it greatly. Intermediate: **K'she-ha-adam nichnas ba-avodas Hashem, az ha-derech she-mar'in lo hisrachkus** — nidme she-merachakim oso me-le-ma'lah, ve-ein manichin oso klal lichanes la-avodas Hashem. **Be-emes kol ha-hisrachkus hu rak kulo hiskarvus.** Tzarich hischazkus gadol me'od me'od **lo lipol be-da'ato**, k'she-ro'eh she-yamim ve-shanim ovrim, ve-hu mityage'a be-yegi'os gedolos ba-avodas Hashem va-adayin rachok me'od ve-lo hischil klal lichanes le-sha'arei kedushah — ki ro'eh atzmo male **aviyus ve-gashmiyus ve-hirhurim u-vilbulim gedolim**, ve-mah she-rotzeh la'asos ein manichin. Nidme lo ke-ilu ein Hashem mistakel alav klal ve-ein rotzeh ba-avodaso — she-tzo'ek be-chol pa'am u-misnapel lefanav yisborach va-adayin rachok me'od. Ke-neged kol zeh tzarich hischazkus gadol — **ve-lo lehistakel al kol zeh klal**: ki kol ha-hisrachkus rak hiskarvus. **Kol ha-na"l avar al kol ha-tzaddikim** — shamanu mi-pihem be-feirush. **Ve-ha-klal, ahuvi achi: chazak ve-ematz me'od, ve-echoz atzmecha be-chol ha-kochos li-she'er kayam ba-avodascha.** Ve-im atah rachok me'od ve-nidme lecha she-pogem be-chol sha'ah mamash — afilu nekudah ketanah me'od she-hu ne'esak mi-gashmiyuso elav yisborach **rats ba-zeh kamah alfei farsa'os ba-olamos elyonim** (mu-vah etzlenu be-sippur ha-tzaddik she-hisgaber alav ha-atzvus). **Ve-yismach me'od u-yechazek atzmo be-simchah tamid** — ki **atzvus mazik me'od me'od** ve-tekhef k'she-yesh lo atzvus hi **aveirah gedolah**: **"עצבות היא סטרא אחרא"** (זוה"ק נח עא:) ve-Hashem yisborach soneh osah.

Beginner: Great stubbornness is required to stand in one's place even if Heaven causes one to fall again and again. Sometimes a person is made to fall from avodas Hashem; even then, he must do what he can, never abandon himself to fall completely. All the falls, descents, and confusions are necessary to pass through before entering the gates of holiness — even the true tzaddikim passed through them. Some are already at the very opening of holiness and turn back because of these confusions; others, when they come close to the entrance, are attacked by the sitra achara and the baal davar with overwhelming, terrible force, blocking them from entering, and they retreat. This is the way of the baal davar: when he sees a person nearly at the gates, he spreads over him with maximum strength. A true tzaddik said that had anyone, anyone at all, told him at the start of his service, 'My brother, be strong, hold yourself' — he would have run and hastened greatly in avodas Hashem; for all the same things passed over him, and no one offered him any chizuk. So whoever wants to enter avodas Hashem must remember this well: strengthen yourself greatly, do what you can, and over many days and years you will surely enter the gates of holiness — Hashem is full of mercy and wants your service greatly. Know also that every detachment, every small turning from physicality to His service, gathers and binds together and comes to your aid in the time of need, when there is — God forbid — pressure and distress. And know: a person must cross over a very, very narrow bridge — and the principle and essence is not to be afraid at all. Intermediate: **Tzarich akshanus gadol me'od me'od li-hyot chazak ve-amitz lichoz et atzmo la'amod al omdo, af im mapilin oso be-chol pa'am.** Lif'amim mapilin echad mei-avodas Hashem — af-al-pi-chen alav la'asos sheloh, mah she-yuchal, ve-al yaniach atzmo lipol le-gamrei. **Kol ha-nefilos ve-ha-yeridos ve-ha-bilbulim tzrichim be-hechrach la'avor — ve-gam ha-tzaddikim ha-amitiyim avru ba-zeh.** Yesh echad she-kvar etzel ha-petach shel kedushah ve-chozer le-achorav me-chamas ha-bilbulim, **o she-az k'she-hu samuch eitzel ha-petach az misgaber alav ha-sitra achara ve-ha-baal davar me'od me'od** be-hisgabrus gadol ve-nora me'od (rachmana litzlan). Ka-asher hu derech ha-baal davar: k'she-ro'eh she-ha-adam samuch mamash le-sha'arei kedushah u-chim'at she-yikanes — az hu mispatesh alav be-hisgabrus gadol me'od me'od. **Ve-shamanu mi-tzaddik amiti** she-amar: **ilu hayah omer lo echad, ye-hi mi she-ye-hi, be-eis she-asak ba-avodas Hashem bi-tchilaso: "אחי חזק ואחז עצמך" — hayisi rats u-mizdarez me'od ba-avodaso yisborach** — ki gam alav avar kol ha-na"l ve-lo shama shum hischazkus mi-shum adam. Lachen mi she-rotzeh le-hikanes ba-avodas Hashem **yizkor zos heitev**, **ve-chazek atzmecha me'od, ve-aseh mah she-tuchal**. **Ve-ha-tnu'os ve-ha-he'tekos** she-atah ne'esak be-chol pa'am eizeh me'at mi-gashmiyus la-avodaso — kulam **miskabtzim u-mischabrim u-miskashrim u-va'im le-ezraskha be-eis ha-tzorech**. **"וְדַע, שֶׁהָאָדָם צָרִיךְ לַעֲבֹר עַל גֶּשֶׁר צַר מְאֹד מְאֹד, וְהַכְּלָל וְהָעִקָּר — שֶׁלֹּא יִתְפַּחֵד כְּלָל"**.

Beginner: Know that there is a tree which grows leaves, and each leaf must grow for a hundred years; it is found in the orchards of the nobles, and they call it in their language 'a hundred years.' Surely, when it grows for a hundred years, much certainly passes over it; and afterward, at the end of the hundred years, it shoots out with a great sound like a cannon ('aramatya'). Understand the lesson well. Intermediate: Yesh ilan she-gedeilim alav alim, **she-kol aleh tzarich li-hyos gadel me'ah shanah** — ve-hu nimtza be-pardesim shel ha-sarim, ve-korin oso bi-leshonam '**מאה שנים**' (mei'ah shanim). U-mistama k'she-gadel me'ah shanah be-vadai over alav mah she-over, ve-achar-kach be-sof ha-me'ah shanim **hu yoreh be-kol gadol ke-mo kanei sereifah** she-korin oso '**אורמאטיע**' (cannon). **Ve-haven ha-nimshal heitev.**

Beginner: It is fitting to walk with the teaching Azamre l'Elokai b'odi (Likutey Moharan I:282): seek and search to find some merit in yourself, some good point. With this little bit of good, rejoice and strengthen yourself, and do not abandon your place, even if you fell to whatever you fell. Strengthen yourself with the tiny bit of good still found in you until you merit, through this, to return to Hashem — and all the intentional sins are turned into merits (Yoma 86b). And what did the Baal Shem Tov do at sea, when the baal davar tempted him? From this, understand how far you must strengthen yourself, never despairing, no matter what. The main thing is simchah always: gladden yourself with whatever you can — even through 'milei dishtuta,' making yourself foolish and engaging in matters of foolishness, jest, jumps, and dances — to come to simchah, which is a very great matter. Intermediate: Ve-ra'ui leleich im mah she-ne'emar **be-ma'amar 'אזמרה לאלקי בעודי'** (לק"מ ח"א רפ"ב): **levakesh u-lechapes limtzo be-atzmo eizeh zechus ve-eizeh nekudah tovah**. U-va-ze ha-me'at tov she-motze be-atzmo, **yismach ve-yechazek atzmo, ve-al yaniach mekomo**, af im nafal le-mah she-nafal — yechazek atzmo ba-me'at de-me'at tov she-motze be-atzmo adayin, ad asher yizkeh **lashuv al-yedei zeh la-Shem yisborach, ve-chol ha-zedonos yiheyu na'asos zechuyos** (יומא פו:). U-mah asah ha-Besh"t (zatza"l) **al ha-yam, k'she-hesiso ha-baal davar...** U-mi-zeh tavin ad heichan atah tzarich le-hischazek u-le-vilti le-yaesh atzmecha. **Ve-ha-ikar li-hyos be-simchah tamid** — ve-yismach atzmo be-chol mah she-yuchal, **va-afilu al-yedei מילי דשטותא**, la'asos atzmo ke-shoteh ve-la'asos inyenei shtus ve-tzchok o **kefitzos u-rikudim**, kedei lavo le-simchah, she-hu davar gadol me'od.