T89 (Tinyana) PNC - Ha-Daas Meshadech Kol ha-Shidduchim — Why You Must Hear Torah from the Bar-Daas

**"Ha-daas meshadech kol ha-shidduchim, ki kol ha-shidduchim heim shnei hafachim, ve-ha-daas hu ha-memutza bein shnei hafachim"** (and see LM I:4). All shidduchim — every joining of two — are a *meeting of opposites*; and *daas* is the **memutza**, the middle, that mediates between the two. *Al kein kol ha-shidduchim she-ba-olam, kulam na'asim al-yedei ha-bar-daas she-yeish ba-olam.* Every shidduch in the world is being made — even when no one realizes it — by means of the *bar-daas* whom HaShem placed in the world for that purpose. **And so**: *le-fa'mim kasheh limtzo zivugo* — sometimes a person finds it very hard to find his zivug, *ki le-fa'mim shnei ha-meshudachim rechoikim me'oid, ve-heim shnei hafachim be-yoseir zeh mi-zeh*. The two intended for each other can be so far apart, so opposite, that the meeting cannot be made. **The tikkun**: *she-tzarich she-yavo el ha-bar-daas li-shmoa Torah me-piv, ve-al-yedei zeh yachol limtzo ha-shidduch shelo*. Come to the bar-daas, *hear Torah from his mouth* — and then your shidduch can be made.

**Why specifically Torah from his mouth — and not just words.** *Ki kol zman she-ha-daas ba-koach, azai le-fa'mim i-efshar le-chabeir ha-meshudachim* when they are too opposite — *kol zman she-ha-daas ba-koach, eino yachol le-chabeir oisam.* **Al kein tzarich li-shmoa Torah mi-piv** — *she-az yotzei ha-daas* be-bechinas **"מִפִּיו דַּעַת וּתְבוּנָה"** (Mishlei 2:6). When the bar-daas opens his mouth in Toirah, the daas itself moves *mi-koach el ha-poel* — from potential into actuality. **And only daas-be-poel can shadech opposites.** This is why merely receiving advice or hearing a wise word *is not enough*. The two opposite halves of a shidduch are repaired only when daas crosses from *koach* to *poel*, and that crossing happens specifically when *Torah* is *spoken*. **And the cipher seals it**: *Zeh oisiyois* **שִׁדּוּךְ — ר"ת** of **"כִּי שִׂפְתֵי כֹהֵן יִשְׁמְרוּ דַעַת וְתוֹרָה יְבַקְשׁוּ מִפִּיהוּ"** (Malachi 2:7). *Shidduch* spelled out — **שׂ-פ-כ-ד**? — Rabbeinu reads the shoresh of the pasuk: **שׂפתי כהן ישמרו דעת ותורה (יבקשו מפיהו)** — *the lips of the kohen shall guard daas, and Torah they shall seek from his mouth* — *mi-pihu* dayka. To extract the daas from koach to poel and *thereby* shadech the world, you need *Torah, from his mouth*.

**The Torah herself is a kallah of opposites — and the tzaddik is the matchmaker.** Why specifically *Torah* and not just words of a chochom? Because **ha-Torah nikres kallah** — Chazal say (Pesachim 49b): **"al tikra moirashah, ela me'orasah."** Torah is *betrothed* to Yisrael; she is herself a kallah. **And in her too there are shnei hafachim**: she has **shnei minei oisiyois — oisiyois rabasi ve-oisiyois ze'ira** (see Hakdomas ha-Zoihar) — large letters and small letters, the *grand-letters* and the *minor-letters*, two opposite registers within the same Torah. **U-ke-she-ha-tzaddik oimer Torah, hu bechinas meshadech shidduchim.** *Ki divrei Torah aniyim be-makom zeh ve-ashirim be-makom acher* (Yerushalmi Rosh ha-Shanah, perek Ra'uhu Beis Din): a piece of Torah is *poor* in one place and *rich* in another. *Tzarich le-chabeir divrei Torah mi-makom le-makom — me-chabrim divrei Torah mi-mekoimoois mefuzarim, she-heim rechoikim zeh mi-zeh, u-me-chabrim oisam yachad — ve-al-yedei zeh na'aseh ha-chiddush she-mechadshim.* The *chiddush* is itself a shidduch: two distant divrei Torah finally meeting. *Nimtza, ke-she-ha-tzaddik ha-bar-daas oimer Torah — hu meshadech shidduchim.* And then your own shidduch — the one too rachoik to make — finds its derech to you, *because the bar-daas's act of unifying Torah is the very mechanism by which world-shidduchim are unified.* *Al kein tzrichim li-shmoa mi-piv Torah dayka.*