T99 (Tinyana) PNC - Sheleimus ha-Hisbodedus — Until the Nefesh Almost Departs; "Ka-Asher Yedabber Ish El Rei'eihu"

**Amar: she-ikar ha-hisbodedus ve-ha-sichah beinoi le-vein konoi bi-shleimus hu, ke-she-yefareish sichaso kol kach lifnei HaShem yisbarach, ad she-yih'yeh samuch me'oid she-teitzei nishmaso, chas ve-shalom, ad she-kim'at yiga, chas ve-shalom, ad she-loi tih'yeh nishmaso keshurah be-guf-oi ki im ke-chut ha-sa'arah me-etzem tza'aroi ve-ga'aguav ve-chisufav le-HaShem yisbarach be-emes.** *Sheleimus*: when one *pours out his sichah* so completely before HaShem yisbarach that his nefesh *almost departs*, *chas ve-shalom* — that his soul is bound to his guf *only by a thread of a hair*, mei-etzem the *force of his pain, his ga'aguim, and his kisufim* for HaShem yisbarach *be-emes*. **Ve-chein mevu'ar be-divrei Chazal** (Taanis 8a): **"ein tefillaso shel adam nishma'as, ela im kein meisim nafsho be-chapo"** — a man's tefillah is heard *only when he places his soul in his palm*. *Heinu ka-na"l*. The chap-formulation of Chazal IS Rabbeinu's sheleimus.

**Ve-amar: ha-loi k'she-HaShem yisbarach oizeir be-hisbodedus, azai ha-hisbodedus hu ka-asher yedabber ish el rei'eihu.** And he said — *and this is the chiddush most often quoted* — **when HaShem yisbarach helps with the hisbodedus, then the hisbodedus is like a man speaking to his friend**. The struggle of *meisim nafsho be-chapo* is the *en-trance*: once HaShem *opens* the davener's mouth, the hisbodedus *flows* — *ka-asher yedabber ish el rei'eihu*. Two registers of one avodah: (a) the *toiling, threshold-crossing hisbodedus* where the nefesh is *al chut ha-sa'arah*, and (b) the *helped, granted hisbodedus* where the same speaker is now *speaking with HaShem ke-ish el rei'eihu*. **Take-home, gentle**: do not be discouraged by the moments of (a); *(b) is given*, *by HaShem*, *in His time*, and *the toil itself is the kli for the gift*.