I gave my soul to be with Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — because I was alone without {vessels}. I did not leave him a single step. Wherever he went — we went together. Yes. From Teveria to Tzfas. Yes. (Saba laughs.) It was spoken among people: "Here is Breslov — here is a Breslov couple!" (Saba laughs.) This was a sign that we went together. This was (not understood) about Breslov. And Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — all — all — all… Tzfas and Teveria — the whole world — he was not… He had another name — he had four names. Yisroel Halperin — that was the family name. And also in Uman they called him Tchek — Rebbe Yisroel Tchek — Tchaykein de'Freilich. [Tchek means joy.] Such joy — such great joy. [In Russian — Tchek is Russian.] Tchek — yes. (Saba laughs.) Tchek. So they called him Rebbe Yisroel Tchek. And in Eretz Yisroel they called him everywhere. He lived in Yerushalayim — afterwards he moved from Yerushalayim to Meron — to Tzfas — for several reasons — the Holy One Blessed Be He. He — he did not live long. He — he could have been in Meron and I in Teveria — and we would not have known one another. Yes. And the Holy One Blessed Be He wanted it to be — so He arranged the circumstances — He brought him to my house. And from this came about what came about. Yes. What was — I have no words and I have no strength. There are no — these are spiritual words — spiritual words — this is impossible to… Yes. This is entirely spiritual — entirely soul — entirely truth. And the Holy One Blessed Be He arranged it. He…

They fried me very much — the father and the mother and the family and the whole world. I was very fried. [Ah — they fried — they fried.] Yes. But I did not know what this was — I did not know why — I did not know. (Saba laughs.) If I had known then what I, what I see now — [you would have asked for more] — I would have — yes. [Bring — bring more humiliations.] Ah — I would have — I would have. (Saba laughs.)

Yes. But blessed be Hashem — I — I know my worth. That I am so — I do not want — that… that any man — that my sons should hear what I am speaking. They think their father is — he is great — he. (Saba laughs.) Nu. But I know the truth. It is hard for me — it was hard for me to accept "Talmidi hayakar" — "My dear student." Yes. (Saba laughs.) And also "v'alecha amarti" — "and of you I said." At the time I found the — the Petek — there were elderly men of our people in Yerushalayim — Rav Shlomo Wexler — [Naftali Cohen] — and more elderly men. Yes. Naftali Cohen and Rav Nassan — Rav Nassan son of — of Rav Pinchas Yeshayahu — Rav Nassan who was — Gitkele — he took Gitkele. Yes. He was Breslov — true Breslov — Breslov. Not — not — not ordinary Breslov.

[Does he also know of the Petek? Does he know of the Petek?] Rav Nassan? I do not know — I do not know — I don't — I don't remember. But this I am certain — that I showed it to Rav Shlomo (Wexler). Yes. As now — I don't know as — as now — we (not understood) — we are already sitting here now. Here — and like this we sat by {the cabinet with books — yes — next to my room}. And there was a great distance — I was nothing. And he had a great mind and great honor. Yes. He was a holy man. I literally lived with him. I saw how he eats. So I — there was a wonder in me. How does he live? How is he in the world? How does he live? How does he subsist? I saw what… how he eats with such holiness. Yes. Not — not ordinary as we eat. He was a matter… yes. But even so — even so there was in him a wonder — emunah — with the… He was from Germany. And there — they don't have — they have there matters of stubbornness — of… that they are stubborn in their opinion and it is impossible — impossible to change them. There is — there is (not understood).

[I have hope — I was born — I was born in this land and my parents are also from Germany. I have hope of emerging from this. I hope that I have hope.] In any case — even from Germany one can… [With Rabbainu — with Rabbainu it is possible.] But — but one can err. One can err. He — he did not travel to Rabbainu. He was able — he had money — he was able to travel. Yes. But he — he was a great scholar. He was versed and wise in Torah and he — he — he had by him — he decided a ruling — a ruling — a Torah ruling that it is forbidden to leave Eretz Yisroel. Yoy. But there are matters — yes — it is forbidden! But it is written explicitly: for a Rebbe — if one has a Rebbe outside Eretz Yisroel — a clear Rebbe more than Eretz Yisroel — one can. (Saba laughs.) And in any case — [Rabbainu for every generation and every era is the clear Rebbe until the coming of Mashiach.] Nu. Yoy. [And after the coming of Mashiach.] But I was together with him. But… And I knew that he had a deficiency. But it is impossible to bring him out of it. Yes. So… yes. I gave him like this — and also Rav Shlomo likewise — only without saying. Yes. I sit with him together and speak with him everything — what, what I understood should not be accepted — then I had no value — I did not accept what, what I understood was not — not… Yes. The whole matter of Rabbainu is beyond nature — every word he revealed. Even what there is already a parallel to — but this — this that came from his mouth — his Torah teachings — the world does not know. They think: this is "Noam Elimelech" — this is holiness — "Kedushas Levi" from the Rav of Berdichev. What — what? He was greater than "Kedushas Levi"? Yes. The world does not… Yes. There is another book — there is also "Likutay Moharan" — just as there is "Kedushas Levi" — "Noam Elimelech" — so there is "Likutay Moharan." But this is a special matter. (Saba laughs.) This — this — the holy Rabbainu said: "I — I am a secret from all the world." Even the Rav of Berdichev was a gaon and tzaddik. Yes. And the holy Rabbainu praised him. But — but if he had known of Rabbainu — he was a secret — if he had known of Rabbainu — he would have been like Rebbe Nassan — a disciple — a disciple of Rabbainu — in ultimate self-nullification. Yes. But like this he was to himself — yes — that he was the great one of the generation — the glory of the generation. Yes. But there are hidden matters — spiritual matters — wondrous matters hidden from the world. Yes. (Saba laughs.)

Yes. This is the matter of Rabbainu. Every soul that merits to draw close to Rabbainu in truth — this is a wondrous matter. Because — because — because the holy Rabbainu has dealings with each and every one. He — he guides him as — as one needs to guide him. Yes. Each and every one. This is a matter… The holy Rabbainu speaks of this in Likutay Moharan — in Likutay Moharan. He — he explains the verse: "Aileh hadvarim asher diber Moshe el kol Yisroel" — "These are the words that Moshe spoke to all Yisroel." Do you remember this? [In which Torah?] Every word of the tzaddik — [yes] — in every — in every word he — he speaks one word. And he — and he — and you receive [what you need] — what you need. Yes. Like this — in the word of the tzaddik — each one — there is in it everything — all — all that each one needs — in one word. Yes. (Saba laughs.) Yes. And the holy Rabbainu explains this verse — a verse in Devarim. [Yes — "Aileh hadvarim."] "Aileh hadvarim asher diber Moshe el kol Yisroel" — the words that Moshe spoke? To all Yisroel — each one what he needs! "El kol Yisroel" — "el kol Yisroel." (Saba laughs.) Each one finds what he needs. Yes. Oy voy, oy…

And also I am a simple man. I am sunk in everything — in the desire to eat. I — I did not eat. [You are ill — you are ill now — dangerously ill.] Now. But before there was — I — I don't — I don't want to become so publicized. Who am I? (Saba laughs.) [Ah — but truly — did you ever try to diminish your eating a little? Certainly you tried.] Like this — I had a will. [Nu — blessed be Hashem — the main thing is the will. By Rabbainu the will is the main thing.] But — but — but — but. [Will — will — will is a great thing by Rabbainu.] I had a will. But not… There are matters that it is forbidden to reveal — that is forbidden… Yes. [That is the greatness of Rabbainu.] Yes. [You are the greatness of Rabbainu.] Yes, yes. [Quite the opposite — quite the opposite — this is the greatness.] Yes, yes. [That Rabbainu descended to you and is able to say "My dear student."]

"Talmidi hayakar" — "My dear student." The Petek could have been without "Talmidi hayakar" — "Me'od hayah kasheh li larede elecha lehagid lecha" — "It was very difficult for me to descend to you to tell you." What is this? In the middle he adds "Talmidi hayka…?" (Saba laughs.) [This is the will — this is the will — this is the will — this is your will.] What is this? (Saba laughs.) [This is your will.] Nu, nu. Could Leverman accept this? What? He is not a scholar — he is not — he is a simple man. What? "Talmidi hayakar?" "v'alecha amarti?" (Saba laughs.) Yes. As — as I know — he — he also thinks this. Ah — this is fitting for Levi Yitzchak (Bender). The Petek should have been for Levi Yitzchak. But not for Yisroel Ber. (Saba laughs.)

From this one sees such strengthening — that Rabbainu is as by the Holy One Blessed Be He. It is written — there is a verse: "Eshkon es dakah" — "I will dwell with the crushed one." One who is crushed. Yes. To the uttermost crush — crushed — crushed. Yes. (Saba laughs.) "Eshkon es dakah" — and like this… And Rebbe Nassan — Rebbe Nassan was with him in ultimate self-nullification. He saw the holy… the light of Rabbainu — the holiness of Rabbainu. He — so he — he was in such humility. This was also hard for him to accept "Talmidi hayakar." Yes. (Saba laughs.) Rebbe Nassan — Rebbe Nassan was with him as zero and nothing. Because it is impossible to be without Rabbainu. The holy Rabbainu is — he — he — he… He saw the greatness of Rabbainu — so he was completely nullified! Yes, yes. (Saba laughs.)

He had no — no — no thought of honor — of — of pride — of… I — I — I am a student of the holy Rabbainu. I merit to hear such Torah teachings — such stories. And he was zero and nothing. He understood that he was completely distant from the Holy One Blessed Be He. Compared to Rabbainu? He… Yes. (Saba laughs.) Yes. But he was a gaon. But I — I am nothing — I am completely — quite the opposite — he was humble. This — this is ravuta — this is great wisdom. How can such a man be — be zero and nothing? This is beyond nature. This is the holy Rabbainu who illuminated upon him. The holy Rabbainu is such a vessel: "Eshkon es dakah" — that he should be with him as zero and nothing. Yes. If not — then he cannot receive from Rabbainu. Yes. (Saba laughs.) And I am literally zero and nothing! He was a gaon but… And I am truly nothing. And this Petek came suddenly — without — without — without preparation — nothing. There was an event of the Seventeenth of Tammuz — as it is written in the Petek: "u'siman yud-zayin b'Tammuz" — "and the sign is the Seventeenth of Tammuz." (Saba laughs.) Yes. This will heal — I cannot take care of you. What? I was in very great danger. This — crushed — I was so crushed — that I was a sick soul. And I had fallen into such sadness — into such brokenheartedness — that without a remedy — there is, there is, there is no remedy for this. There is none. Yes. I was from this as — as… And from this the Petek was created.

And the holy Rabbainu says in the Sefer HaMidos: "Mi she'over avayrah umisbayyesh bah" — "One who transgresses and is ashamed of it" — and is ashamed of it. Yes. "Mochalin lo al kol avonossav!" — "He is forgiven all his sins!" (Saba laughs.) This is in the Sefer HaMidos. (Saba laughs.) So the sorrow and the shame and the depression that I had from this — this, this, this was — was an atonement for all the si… for all… So says Rabbainu — so it is written in the Sefer HaMidos. So, so, so — not — not surprising that he writes — that he — that he speaks to me in such language: "Talmidi hayakar" — "v'alecha amarti." (Saba laughs.) I had such sorrow — [shame] — yes. And also I could not have pride — could not. Because I recognized my own worth. (Saba laughs.)

And also Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) of blessed memory — Rebbe Yisroel of blessed memory was — he recognized me. He protected me. Yes. He was — he — he knew that I was nothing. Yes. And even so he saw the — I — I want and I — and I stand against all the wise men — against all the great ones — and against… yes. Only… yes. So, so he — so this — this had more value for him than all — than all — than all the — than all of them. Yes. And he accepted me as a gift. Yes. With all — all — all — all his heart — all his soul — all… yes, yes. Because Rebbe Yisroel of blessed memory — if one gives — if one gives such mesiras nefesh — is it worthwhile? A scholar — talented (Saba laughs) — (not understood) — yes. This — Rebbe Yisroel was unique. Without Rebbe Yisroel — no other person would have been — there would not have been such ease — there would not have been such a connection with — with whom? (not understood) (Saba laughs.) Yes. But Rebbe Avraham son of Rebbe Nachman — if I had drawn close to him — perhaps he would have spoken — spoken with me. Yes. But — but not — but not in such a way as Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — in such a connection. Yes. (Saba laughs.)

[He had the power to see — the matter of Rabbainu in you — the… He already saw that he needed to go even to Teveria from Meron.] Yes, yes. [They showed him that there was a very special matter in Teveria.] Yes, yes, yes. The Holy One Blessed Be He arranged that he… [yes] — that he — that He instilled in him [yes] — He instilled in him a light — that he should know what this is — what this is. [Yes — that there would be here something special for the future — something for all the people of Yisroel.] Yes, yes, yes, yes. [He certainly prayed for the redemption of the people of Yisroel always — and for everything.] Certainly! He — he was… [All the time he wanted to yearn — to find the point — what is lacking in the…] All his weeping — in all — in all — in all… was only for the people of Yisroel. What will be? What will be? He felt the sorrow of what this is — what this is — these falls — the heresies — and the false beliefs — and the falsehood — this is worse than all — worse than all the sufferings in the world! And he gave his soul to the Holy One Blessed Be He — he prayed for this — yes — that the Holy One Blessed Be He should have mercy — that the da'as of Rabbainu should be revealed in the world — and that everything should — should already be. (Saba laughs.)

Everything depends on Rabbainu — everything. All Torah and emunah — and all our life in this world and the World to Come — it is only Rabbainu! The world does not know this. Yes. They do not know that the holy Rabbainu is such a secret — such a wonder. Even Leverman — he — he — he — he says he is a Breslov Chassid. But he — he understands: "He is a Breslov Chassid? Let Rabbainu have honor — be a scholar — Gemara — Poskim. Yes. But — but Likutay Tfilos — Likutay Moharan — Likutay Halachos — these are not scholarship. Yes. These are chassidus." (Saba laughs.) Yes. Also — yes. According to the holy Rabbainu — if one sees the light of the Gemara — of — of — of — of all — of all — of all Torah — yes — Kabbalah and all — in Likutay Halachos — there is already… He — he connects Kabbalah with — with every halachic ruling — with every ruling — with every… Yes. And the world should be — should be always fixed in Likutay Halachos! All learners and the whole world. Because one sees in it such wonders upon wonders — how he learned the Gemara — how he learned the Midrash and… yes. And… But the world does not know. They think there is Likutay Halachos — like what — what? What do I need Likutay Halachos for? Novelties — novelties of chassidus — of — of — of Kabbalah? This is… (Saba laughs.)

There are — Heaven forfend — those who say that we make idolatry of Rabbainu — so great. But this we do not… What Rabbainu says — what Rabbainu revealed — he revealed only a drop from the sea of his greatness — nothing. This is hidden — hidden. But he lowers himself — it is hard for me — "me'od hayah kasheh li larede elecha" — "It was very difficult for me to descend to you." He lowers himself even to Yisroel Ber: "Talmidi hayakar" — "v'alecha amarti." (Saba laughs.) Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy. Fortunate is one who… The ears that hear such words — there are none in the world — there is none — none — none — none like them in the world. What I — that I received with mesiras nefesh from Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) and from all — from all our elderly men — the men of truth. Not — not as today. Today people — people who simply chase after honor and money and all the… yes, yes. This is darkness! [Someone at the door.]

You do not know. Quite the contrary — I do not intend that I — that I — that I am a secret — that I — that I… Quite the contrary — I intend the truth — that I — that I am at such a level — that I am ashamed even to speak. Yes. And the holy Rabbainu is as it is written in Hallel: "me'ashpos" — the garbage heap — what is this? This is garbage heaps. "Me'ashpos yarim evyon" — "He raises the destitute from the garbage heaps." Destitute — ["Hishtapchus HaNefesh" you found in the garbage heaps] — from garbage heaps. Yes. (Saba laughs.) "Yarim evyon" — the destitute is literally destitute — destitute of Torah and good deeds and of everything — in wisdom. And that is it. Yes. (Saba laughs.)

Yes. "Mekimi me'afar dal" — "He raises the poor from the dust." "Mekimi me'afar" — from dust — there is nothing lower than dust. Dust is… sadness is this — this is called by the name "dust." "Dust" is sadness — it is laziness and sadness — this is dust. "Mekimi me'afar dal" — "the poor man" is truly — he has nothing — the poor man has nothing — nothing — nothing at all. Yes. "Mekimi me'afar dal" — and still more: "me'ashpos yarim evyon" — "He raises the destitute from the garbage heaps." "Yarim evyon" — apparently the destitute one is more than the poor man. (Saba laughs.) "Me'ashpos yarim evyon." Yes, yes…

We see — we see how one can… We see now that the bond between me and Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — this was a preparation — a preparation for now. Everything I suffered — everything was for the sake of the wedding. This was about the wedding — {about the wedding}. (Saba laughs.) And also the Petek — the Petek too — this also — this also — is among the wondrous things that are impossible to accept — impossible to understand — impossible… Yes. And the matter of the Petek — and all of this was Rebbe Yisroel. Without Rebbe Yisroel — there would be no Yisroel Ber — there would be no Petek — there would be no Seventeenth… No — there would have been no Seventeenth of Tammuz and there would have been no. (Saba laughs.)

[People say that we make idolatry of the Petek.] Yes. [But what we are doing — we want a printing press to print Rabbainu's da'as in the world. We have no interest in publicizing ourselves Heaven forfend. The publicizing of the Petek —] Nu. [is only for the sake of bringing Rabbainu's wisdom to the world.] Yes. [To illuminate the world with his wisdom.] Yes, yes — certainly! [And all the Petek and all the secret of the Petek is the matter of printing — the main thing of printing. Yes? It is the main — main — main secret — that the world should be filled…] The holy Rabbainu is — he — he — the printing — that his wisdom should spread in the world — that there should be a time when they accept — when the world accepts Rabbainu as their leader — that they should know that he is the true leader. (Saba laughs.) Yes. The world would already have been — long since the world would have been entirely repaired — there would already have been the coming of Mashiach and there would already have been the… yes. Everything depends on Rabbainu! Yes. And this we do not understand. There can be — Rabbainu can be revealed — that there can draw close — that there can draw close such souls — who have a great mind — who can — one can bring millions to Rabbainu through his word. Then all — all — oy, oy, oy, oy. "Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman!" (Saba laughs.) Yes. All will cast aside all money and all desires and all… We want — we want…

[Rabbainu said — but only Mashiach will be able after him to draw all the world close. It will be Mashiach Tzidkaynu who will have the power of speech.] These are hidden matters. Everything — everything depends on Rabbainu! [If such a soul is found — certainly…] The holy Rabbainu says: "Bias HaMashiach…" [yes] yes. In the Sefer HaMidos. [yes] "Bias HaMashiach taluy b'hitkarvus — b'hitkarvus latzaddik — latzaddikim" — "The coming of Mashiach depends on drawing close — drawing close to the tzaddik — to the tzaddikim." [To the tzaddikim.] Yes. One sees that this — this — this will bring — will bring the redemption — will bring the coming of Mashiach. That there are things that we do not achieve and not… Yes. But the whole world — they are completely distant. What the world is distant from Torah — from all — all the secular ones and all the distant ones and all the transgressors — this all — because the holy Rabbainu is — (not understood) — that the holy Rabbainu is striking… He — he… The world does not — does not know and does not want to know. They — they want the desires. But — but when the time comes and they feel and know that everything is nothing — vanity! That not… All the desires and all the money and all the gold — like the country of wealth in the "Ba'al Tfilah." (Saba laughs.)

[Can there be a person who can draw close to Rabbainu before Mashiach Tzidkaynu — who will draw thousands to Rabbainu — before Mashiach comes?] Yes, yes, yes. [Who will draw close to Rabbainu through speech.] One sees now that the whole world is drawing themselves to Rabbainu — they are nullifying themselves before Rabbainu. The secular ones should have distanced themselves from Rabbainu completely. They should have nullified him. What? He says: "Wisdoms are nothing and desires to nothing and… only — only Torah and prayer?" What? But — but one sees — ho — this is the "Ba'al Tfilah." He is such a philosopher — they are completely nullified. They see his conversations and his Torah teachings — even according to — according to their own standpoint — they feel: ho — there was no such wise man in the world — such a philosopher. Yes. They are nullified — they… He — he makes them dust and ashes. Yes. As in his lifetime — the Maskilim in Uman — they were completely nullified. They were completely nullified! And Hirsh Ber — he was — he was their head and he was an apikores — they were all such apikoresim. Yes. And the holy Rabbainu — they wanted — they, they were completely nullified. Yes. (Saba laughs.)

And also we saw in the world — even in this time — before — before — before fifty years ago — there was Aharon Zeitlin and more — and more great wise men — writers — and they all — they all were nullified — nullified before Rabbainu! [Yes.] Martin Buber. Yes. Aharon Zeitlin — he was a philosopher. [He truly made complete teshuvah — yes?] Yes — certainly! (Saba laughs.) And he was in Uman on Rosh HaShanah!…