יט
ימי מוהרנ"ת - Yemei Moharnat
וְהִנֵּה אַחַר יוֹם טוֹב סִבֵּב הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁהִתְחַלְנוּ לְהַדְפִּיס אֶת הַתְּפִלּוֹת בְּסוֹד וְגַם בָּזֶה יֵשׁ הַרְבֵּה לְסַפֵּר יְשׁוּעַת הַשֵּׁם הַגְּדוֹלָה וְאֵין כָּאן מְקוֹמוֹ וְאָז חָזַר וְנִבְעַר בִּי הַחֵשֶׁק וְהָרָצוֹן לִנְסֹעַ לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְהִתְחַלְתִּי לַחְשׁב בָּזֶה הַרְבֵּה מְאד וְכִמְעַט לא עָבַר יוֹם שֶׁלּא חָשַׁבְתִּי בָּזֶה הַרְבֵּה וְגַם הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ עֲזָרַנִי לְחַדֵּשׁ חִדּוּשִׁין דְּאוֹרַיְתָא נִפְלָאִים מְאד עַל גּדֶל הַהִתְגַּבְּרוּת שֶׁצָּרִיךְ כָּל אֶחָד לְהִתְגַּבֵּר לָבוֹא לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְשֶׁזֶּה עִקַּר נִצְחוֹן הַמִּלְחָמָה שֶׁצְּרִיכִין לְנַצֵּחַ בְּזֶה הָעוֹלָם וְכַמָּה וְכַמָּה צְרִיכִין לְהִתְגַּבֵּר לְשַׁבֵּר הַמְּנִיעוֹת לָבוֹא לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְגדֶל מַעֲלַת קְדֻשַּׁת אֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר כָּל הַתּוֹרָה מְלֵאָה מִשֶּׁבַח קְדֻשַּׁת אֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל וְכוּ' וְכוּ' כַּמְבאָר בִּדְבָרֵינוּ הַנִּזְכָּר לְעֵיל (סִימָן ט"ז) וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן עָבְרוּ עָלַי גַּם בְּזֶה הַחֹרֶף מְנִיעוֹת הַרְבֵּה בְּדַעְתִּי בְּלִי שִׁעוּר, וּבְכָל פַּעַם עָמְדוּ לְפָנַי הַמְּנִיעוֹת כְּחוֹמוֹת נְחֹשֶׁת וּבְרִיחֵי בַרְזֶל מַמָּשׁ
In the year 5573 — our new study hall was built a second time — the one that had been in the house of our Master Teacher and Rabbainu zichrono livracha that had burned as mentioned.
וְכָל מַה שֶּׁעָבַר עָלַי בְּעִנְיָן זֶה אִי אֶפְשָׁר לְסַפֵּר עַד שֶׁעֲזָרַנִי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁיָּצָאתִי מִבֵּיתִי סָמוּךְ לְעֶרֶב ראשׁ חֹדֶשׁ שְׁבָט לִנְסֹעַ לְאוּמַאן, וְלא הִגַּדְתִּי לְשׁוּם אָדָם שֶׁיֵּשׁ סְבָרָא בְּדַעְתִּי שֶׁבַּנְּסִיעָה הַזּאת אֶסַּע לְאָדֶעס וּמִשָּׁם לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל וּבֶאֱמֶת גַּם אֲנִי בְּעַצְמִי לא הָיִיתִי יוֹדֵעַ בְּבֵרוּר אִם אֶזְכֶּה לָזֶה כִּי עֲדַיִן הָיִיתִי מְסֻפָּק מְאד אַחַר כָּךְ עָבַר עָלַי מַה שֶּׁעָבַר וְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ הָיָה בְּעֶזְרִי עַד שֶׁזָּכִיתִי לָבוֹא לְאָדֶעס וּלְקַבֵּל שָׁם בִּילֶעט, וְלַעֲבר עַל הַיָּם הַשָּׁחוֹר וְהַלָּבָן בְּשָׁלוֹם שְׁנֵי פְּעָמִים בְּעֵת סַכָּנוֹת מִלְחָמוֹת כָּזאת, וְעַכְשָׁו אֲנַחְנוּ הוֹלְכִים זֶה הַיּוֹם רְבִיעִי מֵאֲלֶכְּסַנְדְּרִיאָה שֶׁל מִצְרַיִם לָעִיר צִידוֹן שֶׁהִיא גְּבוּל אֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל וַאֲנִי כּוֹתֵב כָּל זֶה עַל הַסְּפִינָה הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ יְזַכֵּנִי לָבוֹא לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּשָׁלוֹם חִישׁ קַל מְהֵרָה אָמֵן כֵּן יְהִי רָצוֹן:
In the year 5574 — between Yom Kippur and Sukkos — I bought my house with His great salvation — Blessed be His Name forever — as mentioned. And in that same year — a special individual from among our people entered the villages near here. He had barely known Rabbainu zichrono livracha at the very end of his days. But he still knew nothing at all of him — since that man was then very young in years. And when he entered one of the villages near here as mentioned — he drew close to me. And I gave him to copy several writings from the matter of his holy conversations and from the stories — for then they had not yet been printed. And I spoke with him greatly and aroused him from his sleep with Hashem's help. And afterward — several years later — he traveled with me to Eretz Yisroel. And all of this was the budding of the salvation for the printing of the stories — and for other matters — as it glimmers in my heart — with the help of Hashem Blessed be He. And when I entered my lodgings mentioned above — Hashem Blessed be He helped me that I made a partition inside my house — in order that I would have a private place for His service — mainly for hisboydedus. And afterward I saw that the household members were disturbing me. Hashem Blessed be He strengthened me to trust in Him. And I began to engage in building a totally separate private room inside the house — far from the household members' living area. And it was completed at the end of that summer mentioned above. And this was for me a very great and wondrous salvation beyond measure. And then I sensed with feeling how much one must hope to Hashem and never despair of His salvation in anything — even if one sees that days and years pass and the salvation is far. Even so — one must hope and return and hope — until Hashem looks and sees from Heaven. For I knew in my own soul how many days and years I had been waiting for this — that I would have a private room. And my eyes had spent themselves for this over a very long time. And my hope had been frustrated — until I almost despaired of this. And Hashem Blessed be He in His great mercy and wonders had pity on me — through the great merit of Rabbainu zichrono livracha — and through the merit of the many. And gave me a lodging and a proper beautiful private room finely arranged before me. And through it I greatly enlivened myself — and I completed there with His great help several wondrous holy awesome books — of what I had heard from him zichrono livracha and of what I innovated therein in His great kindness.
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