עז

On Thursday morning — and it was Erev Rosh Chodesh Adar — I woke to pray with alacrity in order to travel. And immediately upon my waking — Hashem Blessed be He sent thoughts into my heart: perhaps after all I would travel from Kremintchoug to Nikolayev with Rabbi Shlomo. And I recalled once more that it was not an empty thing that Rabbi Shlomo came at that time. For certainly he had come for my sake. And I did not want to push away this thought. And I entered deeply into these thoughts. And I settled myself greatly about this. And I laid out before my mind all the obstacles that were in my mind about the journey to Eretz Yisroel. And I understood that even so — Hashem was very great — and was able to help me to overcome all of this and to come to Eretz Yisroel. Therefore I said: on every account I will travel to Kremintchoug on the chance — it was possible I would not return here. And it should not be firmly decided in my mind that I would certainly return here. And the practical difference was: that I must now immediately receive all that our anshei sh'lomaynu of Tcheirin wished to give me — so that I would have travel expenses. For perhaps Hashem would be with me and I would travel from there with Rabbi Shlomo to Nikolayev and so on as mentioned above.

And I immediately strengthened my mind about this. And I prayed the morning prayer. And afterward I acted accordingly. And I spoke with Rabbi Yaakov Yosef and the other anshei sh'lomaynu — that there was a doubt in my mind that it was possible I would travel from Kremintchoug to Nikolayev. And I still did not know clearly. But in any case I was uncertain about this and it could be so. Therefore please give me graciously and at once whatever you wish to give me. And so they received and upheld my words. And they gave me their generous good gifts. And most of them said: certainly you will return here. And I said: even so — because of the doubt — I wish right now that nothing should remain blocking me here. And may Hashem do what is good in His eyes. And I traveled from Tcheirin to Kremintchoug — I and my companion Rabbi Mendil — on Thursday toward evening. And then at that time — there was great anguish in the house of Rabbi Yaakov Yosef — because of the fact that they had not brought him a license of a certain guild in order to travel to Petersburg. And their counsel was very very divided — how to conduct themselves. For almost all their wealth depended on this counsel. And Hashem helped that I said to them beautiful words then — that all their divided counsel was only about how to attain and reach the will of the Creator — and that was what all of it was about. For was it not certainly known to upright people like them — that money was vanity and emptiness — and a person was not accompanied by silver or gold and so on. Only that they certainly needed much money for Heavenly purposes — in order to distribute much charity. For they were very generous of heart — may those like them multiply in Israel. And if so — all your striving after money was for the will of the Creator. And when you are now uncertain how to obtain the money and to be saved from the loss — all the divided counsel was only about how to attain the will of the Creator. And when one's divided counsel was about that — it was fitting for you to greatly rejoice and to remove the sadness that you now have — which greatly damaged all the matters. Things such as these and more — I spoke with them. And through this I expanded Rabbi Yaakov Yosef's mind somewhat. And I forced him to eat the Rosh Chodesh meal with me — which at first was very far from his sight to eat then. For their anguish and their trouble and their divided counsel was very heavy. But through my words and my persistence he ate with me. And as a result — other many people who were reclining also ate. And I said to him then: the divided counsel that I had in my heart was much greater than their divided counsel. For their matter touched money. And my matter touched souls and money. And he greatly concurred with my words.