תּוֹרָה טו - אוֹר הַגָּנוּז

Torah 293

One who wishes to taste the taste of the hidden light [ohr ha-ganuz] — that is, the secrets of the Torah that will be revealed in the future — must elevate the quality of awe [midas ha-yir'ah] to its root. And this is merited through mishpat [judgment] — which is the aspect of hisbodidus [hitbodidut — personal seclusion and conversation with G-d] — speaking one's heart before Hashem Yisborach, judging and ruling over oneself regarding all one's affairs. Through this one removes from oneself all fears — and elevates awe from its fallen state. For when a person does not judge and rule over himself, then he is judged and ruled from Above — and then the judgment becomes clothed in all things, and all things in the world become agents of the Omnipresent to execute upon this person the written judgment [mishpat kasuv]. That is, he can receive his punishment and judgment through any thing in the world — as is observed in practice: when judgment and suffering, G-d forbid, come upon a person, they most often come through some trivial cause — through some small thing that no one would have imagined could lead to such illness and suffering, G-d forbid. But all of this is because the judgment upon him from Above has clothed itself in that thing in order to execute upon him the judgment he deserves. And all this happens when a person does not judge and rule over himself. But when he judges himself as above, the judgment from Above is nullified — and he need not fear or be frightened of any thing. For his judgment is not clothed in them — for he has already nullified the judgments upon himself by judging himself. And awe does not clothe itself in any thing to arouse the person — for he has already aroused himself. And through this he elevates awe to its root — so that he has only the fear of Hashem Yisborach and no other fear. And through this he merits the above-mentioned hidden light.

One who wishes to taste the taste of the hidden light as above should increase his practice of hisbodidus between himself and his Creator — and judge and rule over himself at all times: all his affairs and actions — whether it is proper and fitting for him to act and conduct himself thus before Hashem Yisborach, Who bestows goodness upon him at every moment. And he should weigh his words in judgment [y'chalkayl d'vorov b'mishpot] [Psalms 112:5]. And he should come to judgment with himself over everything — and he himself should judge and rule over himself regarding all his affairs and actions. Through this all fears will depart from him — and he will be saved from fallen fears [yir'os ha-n'fulohs] — meaning, he will not fear or dread any minister, lord, wild beast, or brigand, nor any thing in the world — but will fear and dread only Hashem Yisborach alone. Through this he elevates awe to its root — which is da'as [divine awareness]. And he will merit complete da'as — knowing Whom to fear — that is, to fear the glorious Name alone with the awe of exaltedness [yiras ha-romimus]. And through this he merits attaining the revealed Torah [Torah she-ba-nigle], which is the aspect of lowliness [shiflus] — and he merits true lowliness. And through this he merits prayer with self-sacrifice [mesiras nefesh] — nullifying all his being and corporeality at the time of prayer — and praying without any intention of personal benefit, not counting himself as anything — only nullifying his entire selfhood and physicality, becoming nullified as if he does not exist in the world, as it is written: ""for Your sake we are killed all the day"" [Psalms 44:23]. And through this he merits attaining the secrets of Torah — which is the hidden light that will be revealed in the future. And all of this is merited through hisbodidus as above.

The primary da'as resides in the heart — for even the nations of the world have intellect, but it is without heart. But the primary da'as is when it is in the heart, as it is written: ""and Hashem has not given you a heart to know"" [Deuteronomy 29:3]. And there in the heart is the place of awe — meaning, the primary da'as is to know Hashem Yisborach in one's heart and not only in one's mind — to draw and connect the da'as into the heart — until awe and dread and fear of His greatness, may He be blessed, falls upon one — until one is aroused to serve Him in truth — until one merits the supernal awe, the awe of exaltedness — knowing Whom to fear. And this is merited through hisbodidus — through judging oneself. And through this one merits the hidden light as above. Fortunate is he who merits this.

When we call upon Hashem Yisborach with the attributes of flesh and blood, and He is found by us whenever we call upon Him — this is the lovingkindness [chesed] of Hashem Yisborach. For were it not for His lovingkindness, may He be blessed, it would not be fitting to call and address Him with attributes, praises, words, and letters. But all of this is the lovingkindness of Hashem Yisborach. And from this a person should be moved and greatly inflamed in prayer when he remembers the greatness of the Creator, may He be blessed — to the extent that he can envision in his heart — that He is elevated and exalted far beyond all these praises and attributes. Yet in His love, His tenderness, and His great lovingkindness He gave us permission to call upon Him with these attributes and to pray before Him — so that we merit to attach ourselves to Him, may He be blessed. Therefore one should at any rate say these words and attributes with a whole heart and with great concentration and self-sacrifice — since we merit through His great lovingkindness to call upon Him with attributes.

There is an aspect of the serpent which entices a person to pray for his own benefit — such as: give us life and sustenance, or other personal benefit. And one must overpower this and strive to merit praying without any intention of personal benefit — as if he does not exist in the world, as above. And through this he merits the hidden light stored away for the Tzadikim as above.

The Holy One, blessed be He, longs for the prayers of Israel — and when Israel prays before Him they fulfil His longing. And then He becomes, as it were, in the aspect of a woman — receiving pleasure from us — as it is written: ""a fire-offering, a pleasing fragrance to Hashem"" [Numbers 28:8]. Through the pleasing fragrance He receives, He becomes the aspect of a woman [ishah] — ""and a woman shall encircle a man"" [Jeremiah 31:21]. That is, the Holy One, blessed be He, becomes the aspect of a revealed garment — meaning: from the aspect of being hidden at the beginning, He is now revealed through prayer. And the Holy One, blessed be He, and the Torah are entirely one [Zohar, Acharay 73a] — and then through prayer the Torah is revealed — that is, the secrets of the Torah.

The secrets of Torah are merited only by one who blackens his face like a raven and becomes cruel to his children like a raven — as our Sages of blessed memory said [Eruvin 22a] — in the aspect of self-sacrifice [mesiras nefesh], as it is written: ""for Your sake we are killed all the day"" [Psalms 44:23] — as above: that he prays with the nullification of all his corporeality.

The secrets of Torah are called kodesh [holy] — ""no stranger shall eat of the holy"" [Leviticus 22:10] — the aspect of "reishis" [firstness] — and only His consecrated and called ones may eat — and they are in the aspect of the Temple [Bais Ha-Mikdash]: may it be built and established speedily in our days, Amen.