צח

O G‑d — do not be silent; do not be still and do not be quiet, O G‑d. For behold Your enemies are in an uproar and those who hate You have raised their head. Against Your people they plot secretly and conspire against Your treasured ones. They have said: Come and let us cut them off from being a nation; and let the name of Israel be remembered no more. For they have plotted together against You with one mind; they have made a covenant against You [Psalms 83:2–6]. Master of the Universe — You know the situation and the state of Israel at this time — in material and in spiritual matters; in general and in particular; for the children have come to the point of birth and there is no strength to give birth [Isaiah 37:3]. And for our days and our generations these have all our prophets and our sages from time immemorial until now prophesied — that troubles would heap upon us: both from the burden of subjugation and lack of livelihood; and from the multitude of illnesses and pains and ailments that are common in the world, G‑d forbid; and other kinds of troubles and sufferings in particular that affect most of the world. There are those who are childless; and there are those who have the grief of raising children, G‑d forbid; and there are those who have sons and daughters and have no means to sustain them and in particular to marry them to those fitting for them; and such and such — may the Blessed Name have mercy upon each one and save him in all that he needs to be saved. And in addition to this — what is heard at all times: that they conspire against us and devise thoughts to decree decrees against Your people Israel, G‑d forbid; which are impossible to bear; and in particular since most of them touch upon the religion of Israel; as is revealed before You — Master of all; Giver of the Torah. And against all these — hardest of all are the troubles of the soul: what we ourselves do to ourselves; how we are lax in the service of Heaven; and how we have also done the opposite — for we have multiplied transgressions against You; and what is evil in Your eyes we have done; and in particular I — who have already grown weary of confessing and of telling my nature and my matters and my conduct and my thoughts and my shameful and strange deeds — may the Blessed Name save me from now. And I know no counsel or strategy except to cry out and to shout and to roar and to supplicate before You — for it is very bitter for me; for I have sunk in the miry clay and there is no standing; I have come into the deep waters and the current has swept me away. And I know no escape or salvation; and I have no opening of hope at all — except to pray and to supplicate before You — full of mercy; Master of salvations: both for the troubles of my soul and for the troubles of the collective of Israel — in which every individual is obligated to participate in their distress. And for all of them we have no support or reliance except upon prayer and supplication — as Your holy sages whose merit shall protect us have commanded us. But You know how far I am from prayer and supplication — and the essence is because of the distracting thoughts before prayer and during prayer: both thoughts of grandeur and ulterior motives; and the multitude of alien and evil thoughts and confusions and imaginings and evil ideas that come upon me during prayer especially — and I know no way at all how to overpower them and to rescue my soul from them; for they have spread over me very greatly — they have entangled themselves and gone up upon my neck and caused my strength to give out. I know not whither my soul goes; whither shall I flee; whither am I driven; whither shall I escape from before them — for they have surrounded me and pursued me; they have encompassed me, yea encompassed me; they have encompassed me, yea encompassed me; they have encompassed me like bees; they have surrounded me like waters all day long — they have encircled me together; and especially at the time of prayer — so that until now not a single prayer has gone forth from me without a multitude of confusions and alien and evil thoughts beyond measure and value and number; apart from many prayers that were completely confused — so that I did not know at all whether I had spoken the words of the prayer; for many words and blessings I completely skipped; and even what I said — it was as if I had not said it; for my mouth was completely separated from my heart; with my mouth and my lips I spoke — with a stuttering tongue; half-sentences greatly blemished; and my heart was very far from them — for my heart was full of many evil and alien and very confused thoughts. Woe to me and allay; woe to me and allay — what shall I do on the day of accounting; and what shall I do when G‑d arises — and when He visits what shall I answer Him; whither shall I carry my shame; whither shall I carry my disgrace; where — where shall I hide and conceal myself from my immense and bitter and so very great shame; which the mouth cannot speak and the heart cannot think.

And so I have come before You — Hearer of prayer; Who chooses the prayer of His people Israel with mercies and desires their prayer: for it was only for this that You created Your world — something from absolute nothing [yeish me'ayin hamuchlat] — through the ten utterances [asarah ma'amaros]; because You foresaw and saw that You were destined to delight and to take pleasure and to derive enjoyment from the prayer of Your people Israel. Therefore — have mercy upon me and upon our fellowship and upon all Your people the House of Israel; and stand at the right hand of our righteousness and be in our help at all times — that we merit to banish from us all the distracting thoughts and all the confusing ideas; and in particular at the time of prayer; in such a manner that we merit to pray our prayers before You with all our heart — with great concentration from the depths of the heart in truth; with holy and clear thoughts; so that the thought shall be bound to all the words of the prayer with a strong and firm bond in complete unity; and let there arise upon our heart no ulterior motive or alien thought at the time of prayer. Rather may we merit at the time of prayer to remove from our mind all the ulterior motives and all the distracting thoughts; and let there not arise upon my mind any foolish thought of any kind of vainglorious arrogance — to think that I am of distinguished lineage and family; or to imagine in my eyes that I have already had toil and effort in the service of the Creator Blessed be His Name. Rather may I recognize my deficiency and know my lowliness in truth; and may I forget all my family and the house of my father; and all kinds of thoughts from which there comes any side of ulterior motive of arrogance and haughtiness. Rather may I stand like a pauper and like a destitute person; and know my smallness and my wretchedness and my lowliness in truth to its very truth. However may I be confident in Your great lovingkindness — that You dwell with the broken and the humble of spirit; and that You are close to the brokenhearted; and through Your great lovingkindness alone may I expand my heart to pray before You with true joy; I will exult and I will rejoice in Your salvation; in such a manner that my prayer shall be in ultimate perfection — clear and pure and correct and fluent in my mouth; in such a manner that You shall hear and receive our prayers and supplications and entreaties. And may we merit to rule through our prayers — that we have the power to effect through our prayer all that we desire; even to change nature. And may You fill all the wishes of our hearts for good with mercies; and may You delight and derive enjoyment from our prayers always; and through this may You sustain Your world and all that is in it through the power of the ten utterances; and may You draw down upon us good lovingkindnesses always; and may You sweeten and nullify from upon us and from upon all of Israel all the judgments of the world. And may You break and nullify from upon us all the harsh decrees in the world — both those that have already been decreed; and those that they seek to decree, G‑d forbid.

Master of the Universe — full of mercy: You have been the help of our fathers from eternity — a shield and savior to them and to their children after them in every generation. See our affliction and champion our cause; and hasten to redeem us with a complete redemption speedily for the sake of Your Name. And in particular from all the harsh decrees that have been heard in our days — that they seek to decree, G‑d forbid G‑d forbid: have pity upon the remnant of Your people the House of Israel and nullify them from upon us with complete nullification — for there is no one who stands in our defense; let Your great Name stand for us in a time of distress; for Hashem did not speak to blot out the name of Israel, G‑d forbid.