T117 (Tinyana) PNC - Mikrei Bilti Tahor When You Get Close — Not a Bad Siman, Just the Dinim Awakening

**Mah she-mevalbel es ha-adam, ke-she-nichnas li-kdushah gevoah, ke-gon ke-she-miskareiv la-tzaddik ha-emes ve-cha-yoitzei, azai dayka yikreh lo mikreh bilti tahor, chas ve-shaloim.** A pattern many baalei teshuvah encounter: *the closer they come to a tzaddik amiti or to a new gevohah madreigah, the more sharply pegam-ha-bris-related events strike them*. *Kvar mevu'ar mi-zeh be-makom acheir* (LM I:72 and elsewhere): *ke-she-ha-adam nichnas la-kedushah, mis-gabber alav ha-yetzer ha-ra be-yoter, ki kol mah she-nichnas be-kedushah yoter, yeish lo be-chol pa'am yetzer ha-ra chadash gadol mi-batechilah*. *Each new madreigah summons a new yetzer*.

**The bilbul itself is shtus — mi-ma-nafshach.** *U-ve-emes ha-bilbul ha-zeh shetus, ki mi-ma-nafshach*: (a) *im yikreh lo mei-chamas hirhur — mi chayav ba-zeh, ve-ein lo le-his-ra'em klal, me-achar she-hu be-atzmoi garam lo*; (b) *ve-im eino mei-chamas hirhur, azai be-vadai eino siman ra klal — ki im hayah inyan ra, loi hayu Chazal noisnin oso le-siman yafeh la-choleh*. **Berachos 57b**: *shichvas zera siman yafeh la-choleh*. **U-ve-emes adrabba** — *mei-chamas she-nis-kareiv li-kdushah gevoah me'oid, me-chamas zeh niz-damen lo*. **"Kol ha-matzdik es atzmoi mi-le-matah, matzdikin alav ha-din mi-le-ma'alah"** (Taanis 8a, on *"ke-yir'asecha evrasecha"*). *He who declares his own tzedek down below — they declare the strict din against him up above*. The very *atzmoi-le-tzeded* triggers *more careful weighing*; the dinim awaken, and *mi-his-talshelus ha-dinin na'aseh ha-yetzer ha-ra* (LM I:72). *Al kein ein lo le-his-ra'em klal*.