אות - קנח

Once after Shavuos in the holy community of Zaslov (329) he said before me in a tone of complaint: How does one merit to be a Jew? (330). And I was very astonished before him at this — according to what I knew of his greatness and service from before, which it is impossible to measure in the mind at all — and he still appeared in his own eyes as if he had not begun at all. He answered and said: Was it not so — at the time when I was laboring for the service of Hashem, it did not occur to me that I would merit this: and I did not know at all anything of what I know now. And did it occur to me to yearn and long to know what I know now?! For I did not know at all of any existence or knowledge of this attainment — to yearn and long toward it. If so — also now — who knows what there still is to attain and what I will yet be able to merit?! And understand. Afterward he said: But this is my consolation — that the entire day I spend only on Torah and prayer. 329. RAK: Rabbainu traveled to Navoritch with his wife before Purim 5567, and from there to Zaslov. There his wife passed away on the night of Shavuos. 330. RAK: See Shivchay HaRan 34.