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ימי מוהרנ"ת - Yemei Moharnat

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בְּחֹדֶשׁ אֱלוּל שְׁנַת תקפ"ד הַנַּ"ל הָיוּ הַנִּשּׂוּאִין שֶׁל חֲתַן רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה הַנָּגִיד רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְזִיק נֵרוֹ יָאִיר, שֶׁהִשִּׂיא בִּתּוֹ מָרַת פֵיגָא סָאסְיֶע תִּחְיֶה, עִם בֶּן רַבִּי יִשְׂרָאֵל נֵרוֹ יָאִיר נֶכֶד הָרַב וְכוּ' מוֹרֵנוּ הָרַב ר' בָּרוּךְ זֵכֶר צַדִּיק לִבְרָכָה מִמֶעזִ'יבּוּז' וְנָסְעוּ עַל הַחֲתֻנָּה הוּא וְזוּגָתוֹ הַצַּדֶּקֶת מָרַת שָׂרָה תִּחְיֶה וְכָל בְּנֵי- בֵיתוֹ דֶּרֶךְ פּה בְּרֶסְלַב וּמִכָּאן נָסַעְתִּי עִמָּהֶם לְמֶזְ'בּוּז' וְזָכִיתִי לִהְיוֹת עַל הַחֲתֻנָּה וְהָיִינוּ שְׂמֵחִים שָׁם מְאד וְגַם הָיִיתִי אֵצֶל הָרַב מֵאַפְּטָא וּבָרוּךְ הַשֵּׁם קִבֵּל אוֹתִי בְּכָבוֹד גָּדוֹל וְדִבַּרְתִּי שָׁם הַרְבֵּה מִגְּדֻלַּת רַבֵּנוּ הַקָּדוֹשׁ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה וּבָרוּךְ הַשֵּׁם הָיָה הַכּל בְּשָׁלוֹם וּבְעִנְיָן זֶה שֶׁל הַחֲתֻנָּה וְכָל מַה שֶּׁעָבַר אָז יֵשׁ הַרְבֵּה לְסַפֵּר מַה גָּדְלוּ מַעֲשֵׂי הַשֵּׁם וְנִפְלְאוֹתָיו אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה עִמִּי אָז, אַךְ אִי אֶפְשָׁר לְבָאֵר הַכּל בִּכְתָב מֵאֶפֶס הַפְּנַאי וּמִשְּׁאָר טְעָמִים, בָּרוּךְ הַשֵּׁם אֲשֶׁר עַד כּה עֲזָרַנִי, עַד הֵנָּה עֲזָרוּנוּ רַחֲמֶיךָ וְכוּ' וְאַל תִּטְּשֵׁנוּ ה' אֱלקֵינוּ לָנֶצַח:

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Afterward I awoke at about an hour past midnight. And I came and also stood before him. And Rabbi Naftali and Rabbi Shimon were still standing before him. And he was then sitting on his chair — for from Motzai Shabbas mentioned above, after having sat consecutively for a day and a half on the chair as mentioned, afterward his practice was to sit on the chair alternately: sometimes lying for several hours on the bed, then commanding them to take him and seat him on the chair for several hours; then returning to command them to take him to the bed; then back to the chair — and so on. Such was his practice throughout all these days from Motzai Shabbas to the end. And at the time I heard the conversation about the story from him, he was lying on his bed — and during the night when they heard the conversation mentioned above, he was sitting on his chair. And when I awoke and came before him, he was still sitting on his chair, and Rabbi Naftali and Rabbi Shimon were still standing before him. And Rabbi Naftali told me quietly something of what had occurred at that time — and that he had already given them the key and commanded the burning of the writings. And I stood trembling and astounded. But even so I strengthened myself and said in my heart: this is his way — that he prepares himself to pass away — but even so Hashem Blessed be He will not do this. And he will certainly live. For we were unable to entertain the thought that Hashem Blessed be He would take from the world such a light of lights at such a time — when the world had not yet merited to benefit from his wondrous and awesome light, which all are in need of receiving from him. And because of our many sins — through those very thoughts — we lost what we lost. For had we simply believed him that he would pass away — as he told us explicitly and by allusion countless times — we certainly could have heard awesome things from him then. (For his desire was that there be an awakening from below — that we arouse him to say something to us. But we did not set our hearts to this — and we were only hoping he would return to his strength. And to think that he was commanding us concerning what to do after his passing — we did not wish to think about this at all. And therefore we did not urge him about this at all. And he did not say it himself without any awakening from below.)

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