נד

On Tuesday 24 Teves 5582 I traveled from my home to Uman. And there were no wagons available because of the ruined road conditions. And I was compelled to hire a wagon only as far as Haysin. And immediately upon hiring the wagon — a great stormy wind with heavy snow arose (called a zavivreche). And my heart was very divided whether to travel. And Hashem helped me to travel. And I traveled in the midst of the great stormy wind. And I was compelled to sleep the night in a certain village. And there the innkeeper was a very great drunkard. But he received us with a pleasant face. And he made a meal for us. And in his drunkenness he spoke at great length about the preciousness and importance of the holiness of Israel — and was very contemptuous and greatly scornful about the faith of the heathens. And sitting at the table were men from Haysin. And he praised before them our Master Teacher and Rabbainu zichrono livracha and his people. And he gladdened me somewhat through his drunkenness and his words. (And this is known to us — that the main strengthening — in particular my own strengthening — is only through joy.) From there I traveled on Friday morning at dawn to Haysin. And I had intended to hire a wagon from there to Teplik — to spend holy Shabbas there. But because of the great snow and other reasons — I stayed in Haysin. And I spent holy Shabbas there. And I prayed in the study hall. And praised be G-d — I had some contentment that Shabbas. For there were some people with me. And I spoke with them of the Torah of Rabbainu zichrono livracha. On Sunday I ate the morning meal at my lodging at Rabbi Yona's. And in the course of our conversation I came into the Torah of long-suffering attained through Eretz Yisroel [Likutay Moharan §155]. And I said before them that entire Torah with a wondrous explanation and a pleasant conversation that leads to action. And this also greatly strengthened my very divided mind. And the general principle is that the main obstacles I had were obstacles of the mind — my mind was very very divided because of many doubts and fears. And it is impossible to explain in writing the divisions of my mind.