פב

Afterward I slept. After sleeping — close to Mincha of Shabbas — there came to me Rabbi Zev from Tiraovitse — son of Rabbi Eliyahu — brother-in-law of Rabbi Gershon — who was then in Odessa. And Rabbi Zev mentioned above came with his son-in-law and his son — and with some teacher from Brod — and other people. And they were somewhat in their cups. And they came to me and wished to purchase wine in my honor. And they purchased wine. And I did not wish to drink before Mincha. Afterward we all prayed Mincha there. And all the people — all of them — prayed Mincha there. And all of them ate Seudas Shelishis with me. And I said in my mind: is this not a matter — and it was from Hashem. As is always my way: to look and to attend and to consider everything each day — how Hashem Blessed be He arranges with me several circumstances for good — and sends hints to draw me close to Him — so that I should merit to speak from the words of the Torah and the holy conversations of Rabbainu zichrono livracha — which are utterly awesome — upon which there are countless obstacles from the greatness of the controversy. For because of this it seemed far in my eyes that I could speak any word from his holy Torah in Odessa. But how great is the power of our holy Rabbainu — may the memory of the holy and righteous be for blessing — whose great power helps one as powerless as me every day and at every moment. And His hand is always uppermost. And He has already completed and will complete everything according to His will — which is truly the will of Hashem Blessed be He. Therefore I took to heart also then at that Seudas Shelishis mentioned above — that everything is from Heaven and every single day is filled with hints from Hashem Blessed be He, and so on (as explained in the Torah Hashem Elokai Gadalta Meod, §54). And even though at first I had in mind not to mention anything from the Torah of Rabbainu at that Seudas Shelishis — since there were no fitting people to hear and receive — but since all those mentioned above ate with me — and also Rabbi Tzvi and the men of Nemirov who had been at the morning meal were also there then — therefore there was aroused in me some desire to say before them some word of Torah from the Torah of Rabbainu zichrono livracha.

And at first they were speaking foolish mundane conversation about a bathhouse and so on. And I began to yearn to find an opening within their conversation to enter into some Torah — and it was difficult for me to find one. In the meantime there were two teachers there. And they were speaking together about the matter of "acting in order to receive reward." And they had some worthless pilpul about this matter — until my ears caught it. And one of the teachers raised some question that entered into investigations impossible to resolve. And I understood a little where the matter was touching. And I answered: this matter is impossible to understand — just as it is impossible to understand the matter of the Parah Adumah [Red Heifer]. And throughout the whole Shabbas — the host had been speaking with me about the matter of the Parah Adumah — even though he was not a scholar. Even so — in the previous year — there had been in his house on Shabbas Parshas Para some preacher who gave a worthless sermon. But the host found it very, very pleasing. And he remembered some things he had said about the piyyut Tzur Tzerura l'Elazar. But he did not know how to repeat his words properly — for he was not a Torah scholar. But through all of this my heart was aroused to think about this matter: what connection is there between Parshas Para and my journey to Eretz Yisroel? Even so — it did not enter my mind until the Seudas Shelishis: that the matter of Parshas Para which is connected to Eretz Yisroel — this is well explained in the Torah Abba Shaul Omer: Kover Mesim Hayisi and so on [Likutay Moharan §55]. And I greatly marveled. Afterward Hashem Blessed be He helped me — and I repeated several things from that Torah before the assembled at that Seudas Shelishis. And it seemed to me a great wonder — for I know that every time I repeat the words of Rabbainu zichrono livracha — it is among the wonders of Hashem. For there are countless obstacles against this. [This section continues the Seudas Shelishis scene of §57 with additional detail about Reb Nussun's reflection on Hashem's daily Providence and the wonder of speaking Rabbainu's Torah in Odessa. The content is fully included in the complete §57 translation above.]

On Sunday I was with the broker about the ticket. And I had not yet come to a full agreement with him. On Monday I wrote what I had innovated at that time — what had been somewhat completed on that Shabbas night. On Tuesday I wrote a letter to Rabbi Yehuda Eliezer — but there were many obstacles in my mind regarding this. On Thursday I came to an agreement with the broker — for sixty-five rubles. And I gave him fifty rubles. May Hashem Blessed be He merit me to complete this in life and in peace.