קו

Afterward Hashem brought Rabbi Shimon before me. And at first it was a pleasure to have someone to speak with — for he received me with love and honor. But afterward I had very great suffering without end from his love. For immediately he began to speak with me about my arrival — I told him I had come in order to travel to the Holy Land — and immediately he answered and said: there was no way now to come there at all. And he laid out before me the immense great danger of traveling by sea now, and that it was in no way possible to travel there now. And he spoke much with me in a manner of love — and all his words were that the only correct path before me was to return to Odessa. There was no other consideration outside of this. And I wished he would be quiet. And he doubled and tripled his words many many times. And I had great anguish from this. Afterward I slipped away from him. And my heart was very very broken from his words — beyond measure. For also when I had entered the holy community of Istanbul, my heart had already been sad and broken for several reasons in my heart — at which the strength of the bearer had almost given out. But Hashem Blessed be He did me kindness — that at least a good lodging was immediately arranged for me. And immediately I began to hear from all the Polish community such reports: that there was no way now to come to Eretz Yisroel. And Rabbi Shimon mentioned above had overwhelmed me with his words — and after him all agreed with his words. And every single one — when he met me in the marketplace — immediately began to urge me that it was in no way possible to travel to Eretz Yisroel, Heaven forbid. Even though I had not asked him and had not sought his counsel. And the greatness of the anguish and the confusion of mind and the broken heart to the point of the soul that I had then — only Hashem Blessed be He knows. And I returned to my lodgings, went up to the outer upper floor, sat silent and astonished — until from the very greatness of my broken heart I began to shed tears with a very broken heart. Afterward I settled myself somewhat, cast myself upon Hashem, strengthened myself somewhat. And immediately I saw: I was compelled immediately to think thoughts — to look for a ship to Alexandria of Egypt. And in the distress Hashem Blessed be He expanded things for me. For on that Sunday mentioned above — one informed me there was a ship going to Odessa, and there was a woman there and another man. And I immediately gave into their hands a letter to my home. And there on that ship — she spoke with us and greatly encouraged us. She said the matter was not as they said — for she herself had traveled from Eretz Yisroel here during those times that had passed when the danger was even greater. And other such words. And this was a pleasure for me — for throughout that entire day I had not merited to hear from any person such a word.